I read Tim's piece called "Stop the PTO Drama" and it really helped me to put some of the problems I was having with my own group into perspective.
Please try to be compassionate toward this president. You must try to put yourself in this president's shoes. I have served as secretary and I am now president. There is a vast difference in the amount of responsibility and stress involved between being a president and any other position on the executive board. I think many of us who become president go into the job thinking that we are the change needed to fix everything that's wrong, which of course we can't possibly do. What we don't realize is that we don't have the authority necessary to "make" anyone do anything they don't want to do, and most people who volunteer are strong minded, passionate individuals just like we are. Therefore, leading volunteers often is very frustrating and it feels like a no win situation much of the time - there is always someone who is criticizing what you are doing and how you're doing it, no matter how well you're doing. When people approach me with their criticism I try not to take it personally (the hardest but most important thing to do) and I try to find a way to get them involved. Being a good president is like being a parent - you have to know which battles to pick and which ones to let go of. As a good leader, you absolutely MUST allow people to take ownership of whatever it is they have been entrusted with. If they feel like they're being micromanaged, they will stop volunteering for you. People want and need leadership but being a good leader is so much harder than it appears to be and no one is a born leader, it takes time to learn. And, yes, it's easy to fall into the trap of complaining and expressing frustration inappropriately (we're all human) and apparently this president you're speaking of has succumbed to that temptation. Speaking from firsthand experience, that 's a cry for help. I myself am dead tired of people who just want to criticize but don't want to step in and help me out. Which brings me to my last point:
Be part of the solution, not part of the problem. You can't go in pointing fingers and criticizing this president, it WILL cause MORE problems. Last year I received a scathing (yes, it was very harsh and scathing) e-mail from a parent criticizing our group's handling of Teacher Appreciation Week. She had never been to one of our meetings, was a new parent in our school, and did not have any idea that our chair person had bailed out on us at the last minute leaving us to scramble for donations of food, etc, at the last minute. Long story short, she is now our Teacher Appreciation Week chair person and is doing a fabulous job. That's what is needed: help and understanding, not criticism and blame. Someone has to be the adult, and you can start the ball rolling in the right direction by taking the high road rather than focusing on this president's shortcomings. Good luck to you! We would all love to hear an update from you.