A letter could be sent home to all parents asking for a donation to help the family. The PTO doesn't have to be involved at all. Talk to the principal to see if the office can send home the letter to see if other families can offer a donation to help out. This way, the family is getting help, and the PTO doesn't have to be involved.
I may be in the minority on this issue, but I feel these things are "personal" issues and should not be handled through the PTO. The majority of people I have discussed this with feel like PTO funds should not be used for these things. As Jewel states, compassion and empathy should be shown by individuals. There is just no way to be conistent or fair to everybody. Too many personal issues going on with various parents. Where is the line drawn. Do something for one family, need to do it for all. I just think it's a better practice not to involve PTO in such personal things...On that note, sending a sympathy card would be one good way to compromise.
Remind that memeber that this issue is a slippery slope and that the PTO must not set a precedent it may not be able to uphold in the future. In other words, stick to the budget.
With regard to the request to include the memorial information in your newsletter -- again, a slippery slope for every family that approaches the PTO in the future because the PTO did it for this family. Stick to your stated mission as a group; show compassion and empathy personally as separate individuals.
One of the families in our school lost one of the parents to cancer last week. A fund has been set up for the 2 kids for people to donate to in lieu of flowers. We have a Hardship/Bereavement fund built into our budget from which thePTO would provide a donation. One of our Board members feels strongly that with all the fundraising we do, we should give this family much more that we have budgeted. Trying to take the emotion out of the situation and look at it from an organizational stand point, I think we make the donation out of our budgeted amt, because we represent the whole school, not just one family. We were also asked if we could include the Memorial information in our Newsletter. I think that opens the door to the PTO becoming an advocate (if that's the right word?) for this fund, which is not our job. I feel very compassionate towards the family as a parent, but as a PTO Pres I have to balance that with what our responsibilities are as a PTO.
