Let's do a thread on what we say inside our head (but not out loud). THAT would be interesting.
But DLF is right. It goes back to the basics.
Listen first, talk second.
Separate the person from the problem.
Stay calm. Establish the FACTS. Remove the emotion.
Focus on solutions, not blame. (But if YOU are wrong, admit it; apologize.)
Explore options collaboratively for a win/win.
Salvage the long term relationship.
But you also have to set boundaries. Know how far to bend, but don't cave in to unrealistic demands. Recognize that it is simply not possible to make everyone happy.
I think the first step I always take is to listen. If the volunteer is in an upset, then trying to say anything right then will usually not do too much. So I tend to listen to their concerns, assure them that I will check into the matter and then follow up, usually within 24 hours.
If it is a 'right now' issue like "I paid for this event for my child but it isn't showing on the books" the benefit of the doubt goes to the volunteer unless there is a clear issue of abuse. They get that one time, and after that the onus is on them to show me.
I always try to stay unemotional, a confrontation does nothing for the group or for the situation. I had a mom upset because she didn't realize she was supposed to send in a note to allow her child to stay for an event. It was clearly written in several different mediums but that didn't matter. Her reasoning was she was new to the school and how was she supposed to know what that meant. Of course the mind boggles at how that was our fault, but I took it. I took it and walked away knowing I was in the right and let her know I'd check into things. I followed up sending her preprinted excuse notes that the office hands out as well as the zerox of the school policy.
That particular woman went on to become a great asset at one of our next events. Not going head to head right there allowed her to walk away saving face, and I'm grown up enough to take it.
Of course sometimes I just stick my tongue out when they walk off ... that works too!
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Another somewhat open topic here: What's your best next-step when faced with an upset volunteer.
It's fairly easy when you or your group actually screwed up. Then, the apology and make right seems like a natural.
But what about when the volunteer is extremely upset and you feel like you and/or your group didn't do anything wrong? I've got a tip coming out on that next week, but -- ahead of that -- I'd love to hear your approach to that challenge.
