Since you already heard her once, (twice, three times to be sure.) and the principal has heard it, she's really just mad that she's not getting her way.
At this point I would let her know that I understand her frustration, but she needs to understand that the PTO doesn't run the school. Let her know that if she's unhappy with the principal, she can certain send a letter to the superintendant and copy in the entire school board.
She just needs to understand that she needs to go up against this principal as a parent, that she doesn't have the backing of the PTO on this.
Definitely a 10-foot-pole situation. I agree with the majority. Let it go.
For future meetings, I'd recommend following PresidentJim's advice. If it isn't PTO related business, on the agenda or appropriate for the open comments portion at the end of the meeting then in doesn't get discussed.
So many parents feel that the PTO is their vehicle to the principal, superintendent and school board. While many of them wouldn't dream of behaving this way in a school board meeting, they have no problem dropping them on the PTO. You and your officers can make it clear that it is not the role of the PTO to be the liason for parent problems.
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."
"The ultimate aim of karate lies not in victory or defeat but in the true perfection of one's character."
Let it go... seriously, let_it_go. Her question has been addressed and answered by the principal.
It's September... you have committees to form, money to raise, teams to build, functions to oversee...you don't need to waste time, effort and energy on this.
I totally agree with the Principal on this one and I might have handled it only slightly different than you did.
IMO this is 100% a school issue and has absolutely nothing to do with the PTO. Whenever I get any questions of this nature I put it where it belongs, in this case at the Principal level.
The way I handle things are are like this...
- If a non-PTO issue is raised at the PTO meeting I will allow it to be asked, and try to get a sense of whether or not the Principal feels comfortable with answering at that time and/or in that venue. If so I allow it as long as it doesn't go too long and/or interupt our agenda for the meeting. The moment I feel that any of these things is an issue I'll jump in as soon as I can and explain "that this issue is not something that the PTO has control over and should be discussed offline with the Principal". To smooth it over a may add that in the past the Principal has been more than willing to talk to any parent about any school concern and that when issues have been elevated to having numerous parents wanting to have answers that the Principal has set up a parent meeting to discus the issue...
- If it comes to me by e-mail then I will e-mail back simply stating that the PTO does not get involved with questions or issues of this nature and that these types of policies are controlled by the school administration. Then recommend that she discus it with the Principal and make sure you Cc her.
For the future if you see her at a PTO meeting be aware of the possibility of her raising some old or new issue. If I was you and was getting ready for a meeting and happened to see this person come in, I would likely go track down the Principal and give him a heads-up that this person is in attendance. The moment that she raises some new found concern, if it is not PTO controlled/related then I would tend to cut it off as queskly as possible, respectively of course...
I'm with Jewels--you've done your best--but don't waste too much more time on this one parent. Let her deal with the principal--if you feel you need to, let her know you're willing to meet with her but don't hold out hope that it will all get better. I suspect she's happiest when she's not happy.
I like supermom's proposed attempts to reach out, but when I re-read the part in red about "[the principal] was insulting, defensive, and totally unprofessional-including lying in an attempt to intimidate me," I have to side with Jewels3. It's the principal's issue -- or maybe the superintendent's, if the parent feels the principal has not been abiding by WSSD policies.
