You absolutely must keep them separate. How else would you be able to stop others from stepping up and soliciting at PTO events for charities that are near and dear to their heart. It should be in your bylaws that you are bipartisen (sp?) so you cannot take sides. for the school as a whole to benefit the food shelter, local animal shelter or a soup kitchen is part of community service, but to begin to select charities one being her own, other parents may say, I have a family member with Lupus, Cancer, Heart Disease, Diabetes, etc. The list is huge.
You must clearly state that her charity cannot be advertised or set up for solicitation or sales at any PTO event. If the school sponsored events ask her, well that's their issue; not the PTO.
Personally I would not have a problem with this sort of thing, as long as I knew before hand exactly what she was planning on doing at my event. Since it sounds as though you did not know that she was going to be selling the t-shirts at your dance, then she overstepped a boundary. I give her credit for starting such a great organization, but the purpose of it seems almost at odds with the PTO. Where is the line drawn?
Was she on the dance committee?
Could her help have been used at some other place during the party?
At this point I would hold firm that this other group's functions never happen during PTO business. If she wants to send fliers home, that's between her and the Principal. If she wants to hold a fundraising event, that's between her and the Principal, and it should never conflict with your group's work.
I would also have a sit down with your Principal to discuss this and to ensure that there is never a conflict.
One of the biggest problems with this could be from what the parents think. If she sends home a fundraiser catalog or an event flier, how many are going to believe that this is PTO related? Also, parents can only be hit up so many times before they start thinking that all you are after is their money. Now they have your PTO fundraisers and her group's as well. Could cause issues...
In many ways it might be a good thing that she is no longer talking to you. Separating the two groups is going to be pretty important at this point.
sounds like not only bad situation/poor judgement call on part of the school, sounds like a bookeeping/tax/audit nightmare too.
why did your school allow this comingling of businessess? are there politics involved. or would the shcool allow this/open up the tax id to any and all parents with a similar request? sounds very biazarre to say the least.
i would keep the talk on the level of management, no need to deal directly with the persons involved. you have to get their approval status to use school id, removed, by those that allowed it in the first place. good luck. sounds messy.
I'm really surprised the school allows this couple to operate under the school's tax id without having a proper board of directors. But that's the school's problem. It sounds like it's best to keep the PTO and the charity separate unless the you plan ahead of time to work together. We have a similar charity in our school community, but they have their own 501c3, their own board of directors, and their own fundraising plans. The PTO supports them by mentioning their annual fundraiser, and allowing their rep to speak at our PTO meetings. But always the PTO is calling the shots. She needs to respect the PTO leadership and ask for your help rather than force her way into the picture. A noble cause does not give her the right to be rude.
You are 100% right. PTO's are not charities. She is out of line. She is using the PTO to permote her agenda. This is wrong. I do not understand how the school could legally allow her or anybody else to use the school's non-profit status and id number. I'm pretty sure this is against the law. She is acting like a bully if she is allowing this to interfer with her duties as an officer and it is hurting the PTO. While her charity may be a good thing, her use of the school and PTO to promote it should not be tolerated.