I agree with Critter. The main point here is that you are the President and it is your job to "control" her, or at least to control the meeting.
I have had minimal issues with this, possibly because I never allow it (as the President) to become too one sided. If some one wants to try something, but someone else seems opposed to it, I form a committee to investigate the possibility and report back. So, for example, lets say at your next meeting someone says they would like to try having a Halloween party (I'm just using an example). This member speaks up and shoots down the idea saying that you are not allowed to hold an event celebrating Halloween and she knows this from past experience. You should then say, "Alright, I see the problem. Lets do this... So and so, if you would be willing to chair a committee to investigate the possibility of holding this event and report back to us at the next meeting, that would be great. Is there anyone who would be willing to assist her?"
Something like that. This way you have taken back control. You have designated a viable course of action. No one has been officially shot down and yet you are taking her experience into account.
Then at the next meeting hopefully you can have answers or alternatives for all of the issues that the experienced member raised.
You can ignore her, confront her, or enlist her. If you indulge her, you give her all the control and you'll feel beaten down every time.
It may be hard to ignore her, not to mention a bit rude. She's only one voice, so she shouldnt' be able to force your PTA/O into specific decisions. She's just the loudest voice which can be very hard to ignore.
If you confront her, do it privately. Some people really like to hear themselves talk and might not be aware how much they are dominating the conversation. On the other hand, if she's been like this for years, confrontation might be futile, and make you look defensive.
Can you enlist her? If you can find one thing that she can "own", and let her run with it, maybe it will be enough to satisfy her obvious need to be involved. Is there something well-suited to her strengths?
Remember, YOU are the president, not her. You have the right -- and the obligation -- to keep your meetings moving forward. You have the right to interrupt her and redirect conversation if she is being non-productive or repetitive. Stay in control. Be polite but firm. Good luck!
I've given this a lot of thought lately since there is the potential for this happening to us this year as well.
Is this lady still on your board? If so, I would (as a group) tell her that you'd like to present a united front to the public and ask her to reserve her objections for your board meetings instead. Our board meetings precede our public meetings usually by at least a few days.
If she's not on the board I would enlist the principal's help-assuming they are at your meetings-and either have a set amount of time for each person to be allowed to speak, or after a few minutes of listening to her objections I would suggest that the board and the principal would be happy to meet with her privately some other time to hear her out, but for the moment we need to move on to other subjects in order to finish the meeting on time.
We also are only having the 4 meetings required by PTA this year, so there will be a limited opportunity for this kind of behavior; the school holds a meeting every month and we simply present a report the other months.
Good Luck!
I have a big problem... this is my first year as PTO president and I have recruited an all new group with the exception of 1 lady that has been on PTO for 5 years, 3 of which she was president. She COMPLETELY dominated our first meeting last night, shot every new idea down and took up all the time voicing her opinions and objecting to everything. The meeting was a nightmare and I just wanted to quit. Have any of you been in this situation, and what did you do to change it? This lady has always been this way and did the same thing to the president last year, so I should have seen it coming. HELP!!!
