activemom - It sounds like this situation started out innocently enough and with good intentions all around. The first year is intimidating so you asked for help. She committed to hang around and co-lead for the school year. Really, it didn't sound like she had much choice if nobody was willing to step up and take over 100% of the job.

Something is driving her to believe that she needs to come back for yet another year. There's no way for you to know what is motivating her without asking her. Maybe it's time for the two of you to have a friendly chat. Be sure to let her know how very grateful you were for her commitment to you and the team, that you learned a lot from her and that you're glad she's seeing the year through with you. Let her know that your confidence has really grown and that you're ready to move on to the next school year as a more experienced and confident leader.

Like Shawn says, if your bylaws have term limits or restrictions on co-leaders then she does need to step back. If there is no such wording, she has as much right as anyone else to run for president. If the team still wants her, she'll win the majority votes. If they're ready for change and have confidence in another candidate, their votes will show that.

Do your bylaws have term limits or details regarding co- officer positions?



If they dont and this was just temporary its time for Ms Dictator to move on.

This is my first year as our parent group leader and I am sharing the responsibility with someone who has held the role for many years. I was courted for this position and only agreed after the existing president agreed to stay with me for a year to help me learn and grow into the role. It was supposed to be time for fresh blood.

I've been growing into my role and have finally begun to introduce new ideas. Outside of meetings, these ideas are getting a lot of support from staff and parents. Once we meet, however, everyone looks at my co-president before responding to anything new. It doesn't matter if the ideas come from me, a vice-president, or chair person. If my co-president so much as raises an eyebrow, the majority of the board attacks the idea.

On the flip side, if anyone proposes an idea that someone dislikes, people will only speak out until the co-president supports it. One idea I proposed was met with a lot of resistance. The moment the CP spoke out in support, everyone against the idea switched sides. My idea went from horrible to adopted in the blink of an eye. I have even seen a principal flip-flop based on CP's feelings.

I'm concerned on two levels. First, I fear that we can't have a healthy discourse about any topic if the majority of the board refuses to think/speak for themselves. Second, the CP is resistant to change of any sort so there is virtually no room for anything new. I have seen her fabricate a reason to be against one idea. She literally lied to me and the board, despite the fact that we all had evidence to the contrary in our meeting packets.

The CP originally intended to move into a less visible role for the next school year. However, she has recently begun expressing an interest in remaining CP indefinitely. Some of the newer board members have expressed a concern that she's more worried about losing power than serving our children. They want her to step down at the end of this school year, if not sooner.

To make things harder, I'm inheriting a trend of declining revenues. We haven't come close to meeting an already slashed budget, yet the older folks on the board refuse to entertain any changes to our fund raising structure.

Are changes in leadership always this acrimonious? What can I do to prevent our board from splitting into pro-CP and anti-CP factions? It's enough that we have people who only speak with her; I don't want to see a group develop that will only speak against her.