See, m2gymmom, I have given plenty of opportunities for ideas to be given. I hold meetings, no one shows up (common thread everywhere I know), but I also just ask when I feel like it.

I have a mailbox, it's always open. Everyone has my cell, my home number and my email. Nothing. And yet, no feedback except bad stuff. So I try to be inventive, I ask for feedback. Nothing. I hear through the grapevine. You know how that goes.

It's terrible. I said this on the other board. I don't expect everyone to agree with me. In fact, I'd be afraid if they did. But, just LAY YOUR CARDS ON THE TABLE. I am so open to discussion. I just don't want to hear about it six days later from thirteen different people in four different versions. By then, the damage has been done.

We are very divided, and I just want us all to come together as a group, or, dare I say it, an ORGANIZATION. It would be so nice to see people welcome us, WANT to know what's going on with the PTO.

I am trying, honest. I just don't know where to go from here.

jules-i totally agree with the others, one more thing to add, have you ever asked them for their ideas? i have found out for myself, that if you consistantly try to include them (even if it kills you inside) they'll tend to stop criticizing you. you know that saying, keep your friends close, but your "enemies" closer. They'll find out that your ideas are good and they'll feel like they have helped contribute to it. good luck!

Hello, all.

I have to say, that EVERYONE has such insightful wisdom to bring to the table. Even from squabbles you can learn, it's true.

Probably the hardest thing for me, as a parent, as a volunteer, as a community member, and as someone who just wants to make the school better (NOT that it was bad to begin with) is that no matter how hard you try, it's never enough. It's never right. It's never something. And that, my friends, is an inner struggle.

It's something I have to let go of, I know. You're right. I can't please all of the people all of the time, but the people I please even SOME of the time seem to be repeat offenders.

How can I quit preaching to the choir so that I can branch out and even feel like I'm APPROACHING the line of "enough" or "right?" I'm not trying to say I need to satisfy the naysayers, but I need to find a good balance so that the naysayers will quit saying "nay."

CrewChief, thanks. And to everyone else, as well. Between this board and the other "intriguing" post (not started by me), I learned SO much. Whether or not I decide to continue, I can, at the very least, say I learned something.

I truly believe that everything, good and bad, teaches a lesson. How you choose to use that knowledge is up to you.

So, again, thanks. I could really use the encouragement. You have no idea how hard it is to walk into that school every day, and yet I do it, because by NOT doing it, I feel as though I would be admitting not only to everyone else, but most importantly to myself that they were all right.

Not that this is a right or wrong issue. It's really not. But, it's more an issue of who do you follow?

Phil, I agree wholeheartedly. My ultimate goal would be to put into place five people on each committee which would would really only need one or two people. Not only so that it wouldn't fall on those one or two people, but so it would be FUN.

But how can it be fun when newcomers are so unwelcome? When do the tides turn? I guarantee you that people are not as willing to wait for that turn as I. And that's too bad.

Our school, our staff, our kids are great. It's the very specific non-communicative group of people that make it hard to want to keep participating. Sure, volunteer once, but keep going? Not so much. You know why? It wasn't right.

I firmly believe that, if you are lent a hand, even if it wasn't done correctly, you just say thank you. No matter what. The people will come back.

I don't know. I'm just in such a tough place, but hearing your stories is pretty inspiring, and it's nice to have a place to vent. Thanks.

Jules

Hey Jules - I just threw this quote out on another post:

Walter Lippmann,
The final test of a leader is that he leaves behind him in other men the conviction and the will to carry on.

<aOK> altered it a bit(because she's so fun!):
The final test of a leader is that SHE leaves behind HER in other WOmen the conviction and the will to carry on.

Either way, it's so true! It's too bad that your outgoing leaders didn't give you this one final gift. Lucky for you that your internal drive is strong! And, that you found these boards with smart folks like dlf, aOK, Phil Bernstein (and so many others) to cheer you along too!

I think CrewChief and dlf stated it well - keep plugging away.

The only thing I will add is that you are doing the right thing to keep recruiting fresh ideas and new people. It is the best way to keep the PTO relevent. It also spreads the work around so the same 10 families aren't always leaned on until the burn out buy the 3rd grade.

Like aOK, I'll add a relevent saying : Many hands make light work.

i agree with the above advice, those gals ALWAYS give great infos.... i could add , from my own PTO experience....dont worry about the adults, focus on the kids and the adult stuff will work itself out, buecasue:

"Be who you are and say what you feel...because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind..." Dr. Seuss

and

"If it ever happens that you turn outward to want to please another person, certainly you have lost your plan of life." Epictetus

in other words, you can please some of the pepoele some of the time but you cant please all teh people all of the time, or whatever that old saying is,,,,and of course i fyou try to please everyone, and not step on anyones toes or ego, you are sure to end up pleasing no one in the end, and just cause yourself undue stress. so just follow your instincts and focus on the kids, thats what i would say.