I'm sorry about your situation, maybe this will help:

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." Herm Albright

HEy Metzy, in the meantime would it be in their best intrest to get bank records (from the bank) and conduct an audit. Also, should they be talking to legal though the school district (hoping this can be kept confidential until all information is gathered?)

VAPTOmom As far as your....."fearless leader"
document, document, document. I know that seems like alot and more than you bargined for (I think you'll agree you're already there) but what I see is no documentation of her actions. I would also form an aliance with your Principal to let her/him know of your concerns. If there is enbezeling occuring you are going to need their support and maybe even legal advise.

A couple years ago we were havign problems geting the books to balance, I told the President I really wasn't good with books and have a lot to do as the Secretary. Well, about a month later we are being interviewed by a parent doing a survey for the Principal (long story) and the books came up. I said this is not the time, well, I was told to shut-up and stick with being the secretary by the VP. She too is gone, and I'm still here! This President is on one hellova power trip! Wonder when she will fall?

It will get better
You are doing more for your school than she ever has
A first year mom to boot! Bless you!
Remember these kinda girls from high school? I do and I still hold myself to a higher standard than they could ever understand. Sounds a little high and mighty but in away, I don't want to act like that!
Yes she is the Prez, yes, she is considered your "fearless leader" but in your life she really has no "power" over you. How did I handle the Treasurer? I didn't, I went home and made play dough! The Principal found out and was appalled, and helped me understand I was more of an asset to her school than the oterh mom.

yes, you are an asset......

now if you will excuse me, my four year old is hiding a box (or former box) of cake mix under the couch.....and the dog smells like cake mix....

If you know about theft of funds (embezzlement is a felony), you are required by law to report it. If you do not report it, you can be considered to be covering it up, which is also a felony.

I also think that anything and everything should be okayed by the pres. I think she is being a PITA, but things still need to go through her.

From the things you have said here this woman sounds less then nice and less then stable. If this woman behaves this badly then cetainly people see her for what she is.

The best part of your post is that she is moving on next year. So no matter what happens you only have a little more ways to go before she sails off into the sunset.

However, as an officer you should not do anything without informing her of it or running it by her. As the president she should be aware of everything that goes on. Take the birthday cards for example...if she knows nothing about that and a teacher thanks her for a card then she looks like an idiot because she has no clue as to what they are talking about. Obviously you do not like to speak to this woman and may not even want to tell her what you would like to do as she may tell you "no" for no good reason, but if you take it upon yourself to do things that she is not aware of then you are in a sense doing things behind her back.

Two wrongs do not make a right and no matter how bad she is, you should never stoop to her level.

As for the things she wants to set up for next year...Let her plan whatever she wants until the cows come home, it does not matter. Whoever becomes the new President will do what they want to do.

Just bide your time and bite your cheek. Then next year you all can become a non profit and do what you want to do.

We use to have a real nut for a President. So I have been there and done that. Everybody saw her for exactly what she was. She was nasty to us and made snide comments at meetings. We just laughed at her. No matter what she did we never, ever let her know that she bothered us in any way. That drove her even more over the edge. The clock was ticking on her term and we just waited her out. She is gone now and everyone is happy.

I know you have all heard this or been through it a hundred times, but being a new PTO officer (child in kindergarten) I'm totally shocked with all that's going on in our PTO.
To start with our PTO was pretty much inactive last year or at least that's what our now President keeps telling us. She was Vice president and claims to have taken over in November, but records show March. She claims to have done it all by herself with no help.Rcords show otherwise. She gets upset if the other officers want to take inventory of PTO supplies. She has stated early in the year that only she was allowed to touch the PTO box in the front office. The other officers wanted to the PTO to become a nonprofit organization so we could apply for grants for playground equipment and such, she has fought us all the way. Including talking about us behind our backs, starting arguements in the front lobby in front of parents and children.
After our fall festival this year, she was over heard telling others how she did it all (again) so at our past PTO meeting the school principle gave each team leader and officer an african voilet in a beautiful handcrafted pot with a certificate. She threw hers away on the way out the door claiming she hated flowers. She has jumped me numerous times for doing things behind her back. I (as Secretary) got the birthdays of teachers and staff and started giving out birthday cards I bought, I also started a PTO newspaper instead of the boring newsletters she had me sending out. I thought if I added fun stuff to them (recipes, craft ideas, school board news, etc.) that people would be more apt to read them. I also sent out a letter to all the teachers asking for a wish list (our class reps, she assigned, are not reporting). I stated in the letters to the teachers that if we (meaning me and treasurer) know what they need we would be able to present it at a PTO meeting and try to get them some of the things. She had a big fit because the treasurer ordered books on playground equipment when she already had them, though she has yet to allow anyone else to look at them, or any other mail the PTO gets. She makes copies of all bank statements before giving them to the treasurer. When the treasurer and I started working on form 1023, we found after trying to balance the books that over $1000 has been embezzled. She wants to do nothing about it. She has a friend of hers doing our box tops for educations, yet when I went on the box top website and got to checking and found we have not received a check for over 2 years, I called BT4Ed. and got our log in info. No box tops have been sent in, yet we have seen the children bring them to the office and her taking them home. The lady that she has doing our box tops is actually a teacher at another school. Oh and one more thing, Last Sunday she called me at 8pm, and asked me to type up a newsletter to send out on Monday. Well Monday morning I woke up with a sick 6 year old (stomach flu) and wasn't able to come to school.I then got sick with the same thing on Tuesday, however I forced myself to go to the PTO mtg. that night and sit in the back corner away from everyone. She called the mtg to order and began to apologize for not getting her newsletter out to them on Monday, but that the Secretary did not get one to her on time. I spoke up and apologized, stating that I had a sick child at home and was sick myself. She cut me off and told me that she had not asked me to speak nor had she called me by name. I said when she told them secretary every knew who she was referring to. Of course the entire room was sitting there with their mouths wide open and even the principle was cutting her dirty looks. I am thankful she is moving on to a new school next year, but in the mean time she is making a mess of our PTO. There is so much more I could tell you, like about the fact she is currently now attempting to set up committees for next years PTO, she threw a fit because we wanted to take food collected for the needy and while working with the guidence counselor, make up baskets for those in need at our school. She claimed on that one, that they could go to the food bank and get it themselves, and if they were too proud to go through social services to get food at the food bank then they should starve.
Are we other officers being out of line? Is the president allowed to do what ever she wants without first talking with her other officers? Any suggestions on helping to get some peace in the PTO? We could have such a great year, if not for this. This arguing among the officers has already stopped several people from attending PTO meetings. WE NEED HELP!

Thanks!