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HELP!!! feeling alone and confused

20 years 2 weeks ago #100644 by <kathiep>
Replied by <kathiep> on topic RE: HELP!!! feeling alone and confused
Robyn,
From what I gather you're upset and frustrated because the current Parents Group officers are not following the by-laws or what's been done successfully in the past and are leaving you out of the decision making process. They're spending money on things that should have been approved by the general group.

(it would really, really help if you would double space once in a while to make the posts easier to read.)

I'm not sure what advice you are looking for but I'll try to help. First off, you need to take one issue at a time. As I'm sure you've read time and again by-laws and budgets are key to a well run parents group. I would suggest that you try to get both of those enforced or started if you don't have them. I would also try to enlist the support of other parents. It sounds like you have a hard time speaking your mind. I understand, but unless they can read your mind they will not know how you feel. :(

So, starting off with one item: the book fair. where you said that the Treasurer would be attending it and all other events. Makes sense to me but are you saying that she would be there by herself? I can't imagine why she would want or be able to do that. Our by-laws state that all money must be counted by two people. I can't say that we always follow this rule but there is always a paper trail at the book fair because volunteers write down the purchases and that matches up with the inventory. If you think she shouldn't be there alone, then speak up but just do it in a non-accusatory way.

Another issue, executive board meetings. I would find the time to attend these and SPEAK UP.

What I would do if I were in your shoes: Figure out what you really want to continue to do at your school and back off from everything else. If you are a single mom raising 5 kids and in college, I would make college my priority and back away from most school things as much as possible. Other people will step to the plate if you don't do it and if they don't the world won't end. It's hard to watch other people screw up what you've helped build but unless you can voice your opinion and get some more people to see your point of view you are going to be continually frustrated. I wish you the best.
20 years 2 weeks ago #100643 by Robyn
HELP!!! feeling alone and confused was created by Robyn
Hi,
I need some advice or sugustions or mental help. I have been a very active parent at my sons school for almost sevan years. i was V.P for two years and I have been the secteraty for the last three. The monent I got elected My passion became the kids and the school, we are a very school only 185 kids on a good day. We also are 20 miles away from the town were the rest of the school district is. so samish never really gets any improvements. the 3 boards before ours had thied to put in a playground but they would leave office and the next board would do something eles. we decied to raise the funds for a playground, we figured about 10 years. Well in two we had raised enough money to put in a regulation size BB court. three years later I was crying as we put up our playground. That was last year. We also elected a new VP. and the pres. only having one year left decieded to have a co- Pres. so that she could teach the person. well by febuary of last year the new co presadent and her best friend had upset the Pres. so much that her husband told her she needed to stop because of the stress. last june we elected a new tresure as well. that leaves me. and after three years of being the secretary i have grown into my own patters. we also had our princable retire. I know that with new people comes new ideas and new views I am ok with that. ( my best friend the old Pres.is very controling she has her way and a wrong way. at first it was difficult to be in the samre room with her. but Im easy. its easier to bend than two break. here it is only november and this board has changed everything. they have also commented on the fact that 250.00 was needed to buy new decerations for halloween. "the ones that the last board used were garbage so we through them out." the presendent said that during a meeting. I had to bite my tounge becuse they wanted to spend 250 dollars on deceration as well as the fact That i am the old board and we never spent more than the bare mimamin to get by. myself and two other parents made the stuff we used. or used our own money. That is not why I am Writing this. They started having exetive meetings in the beginning once a mouth to go over the meetings adgenda. I did not see the need because we talked all the time at the school. the meetings were soposed to be posted and at samish. so I went to the ones at the school. than they moved to one of the others homes and they no longer wanted a note on the buletten board they are opposed to minutes at these meetings so i deciled to go. the next thing i knew the pres was making the adgenda, and when the book fair came i was informed that the treasure would be there at all times and at each event in the futhur. I was not even asked my opion on it. I never do it alone because i am a supporter of two people at least when you are dealing with money. well I also started collage this summer and have five kids as well as the school. I really take pride in the flyers and things that i send home. I never spend lest than three hours and 50 sheets of paper trying to get them ready to go home. I becamr a single mom this suimmer to. I needed help and i though that It wouldnt kill me to let go a little. so there is this lady that has been a wonderful assit to us. and i asked her if she might want to co chair. she wanted to do the flyers and Isaid ok ( although it was hard) Now I dont ever get called for any reason. I went in to copy some spelling for a teacher two weeks agobecause i got a email. When i got there it was the whole teachers edition cover to cover. needless to say the thrity minutes turned in to after 1 in the afternoon. My two youngest kids have litteraly grown up in the office. from moment they were born they have been running the school. the office staff and my family are or were family. I called the old princable once because my 10 year old would go to school and i had had surgry. he came over and snached him out of bed. well i went in at 5pm to pick my son up from chess club and it was only me and the new princable I was told that I could no longer come in and volenteer if i brang the girls. I almost lost it but I quitely said this has been there home and their family you have no right to come in and change the family atmisphere. I left. by the time i got into my drive way i was crying like my two year old. The meeting was the same night so as i am sitting there taken down the minutes the VP who is running the meeting the Pres had a had ache. Tells us that herself and the pres. went out and placed a order for 1,700.00 worth of shirts water bottle and hats. WITHOUT A MOTION. at the last meeting the parents had given permisson to find a new vendor with better prices.. we only sold maybe 6 shirts durning the whole last year. I was speechless we only had 2,100 in the bank. ( mof the money that was left over from the playground money. I didnt say anything because I would have lost it. so i waitrd until the next day. to voice my opions and they do not feel it was wrong at all. I wrote a letter that stated that they have left me out of everything they do not ask me for any thing so I copied what the by-laws states are my duties and that I would be handling those things from now on. I have spent entire nights on my computer tring to figure out what to do.. about the way the are doing things. I have tried and tried to get this group to join PTO there is no way. They say we cannot affored it. Well I have downloaded all the files to become non profit and have alredy recived our EIN. The pres did say that she wanted to get a tax id number And It falls under my job. so I was gioing to prosses all the paper work. and then tell them. But I feel like that kinda makes me like them. I did try the super of the district. he wrote me a email that said the princable would get in toch with me, HA I would just quit because my youngrst wont be through the school until 2017. but I feel like they would have won forced me out.As well as the fact that I dont want to go I love the school the kids and most of the staff. I dont want to quit... But I will take any advice i can get. sorry this is sooo long
:confused: :confused: Robyn
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