I gotta go with Tim on this one. His examples are perfect.
As for the stamps: I know this may sound controlling, but NO ONE, not the principal, not fellow officers, NO ONE is allowed to spend money or be reimbursed without my knowledge (yes, I'm the prez). If it is an expenditure voted on and approved at a meeting, I still have to initial it, not because I am approving/disapproving it, but because someone has to be in charge of things like this. If someone bypassed me for something like this, I would not approve payment. It would only take one or two non-paying incidents for everyone to understand that it just won't happen on my watch (as we used to say in the Navy).
I am not as controlling as the above paragraph may lead you to believe. We decide things as a group, but my initials are still required on all bills, reimbursements, etc. Let your school and district bigwigs know that from now on, if it doesn't have your initials or isn't reflected in meeting minutes (in which case it would have your initials...lol), that your group will not be paying...
As far as the ring goes, I agree with Tim as far as telling her to fly a kite. She's out of line. If I were to lose a ring/stone doing something for my group, I would contact MY insurance company. That is, if she had her ring insured.... Even if you were to give reimbursement serious consideration, other than her word, what proof does she even have that she even had the ring, and that it was damaged doing PTO business? If the ring was that valuable to her, why was she wearing it doing that sort of work?
I disagree about the meeting giving it too much attention. This sort of PIA can never receive too much attention, and everyone involved needs to be on the same page on how to deal with them.
I can only imagine the NIGHTMARE of having to contact the local businesses. I'd even go as far as having a letter drafted stating an apology that this member created problems, but that she in NO WAY represents the PTO and is acting on her own. If you can get her mailing list for donation letters, I'd send the same letter to them. The last thing you want is her receiving donations on the behalf the group then doing God knows what with them!
I'm not a lawyer, but it would seem the $150 is the school's responsibility. They let her put the letters in the system, so it's up to them to get the money out of HER. You didn't ask her to do this--she did it on her own, and this is between them. I'd definitely seek counsel on something like this woman. She's is a loose cannon, and you guys are right in her line of fire. This is America, after all, and she can do whatever she wants. HOWEVER she needs to understand that there are rules and procedures and OFFICERS and COMMITTEE CHAIRS for very good reasons. Being an adult she should know this. You could be nice, as LUVMYKIDS advises, and make it seem as though you're not singling her out just in case she didn't realize that there needs to be order in the ranks. Write up a list of rules and procedures and make sure everyone gets them along with the consequences of said rules no being followed.
If she can't seem to understand that this is how it needs to be, I'd even consider getting legal counsel, and a restraining order if you have to.It is very scary to see how just one PIA can undo so much hard work and trust.
I have to disagree with Tim about your meeting. I think you should have met to discuss what to do about what she has done and may do, and since you know there is someone out that would actually pull these stunts, how to stop future similiar situations. If she does get attention at the general meeting then everyone will know everything and will not believe the stories she could possibly tell to try to harm the groups reputation.
After this hurdle, it may be a good idea to form a committee to look over the bylaws and make Volunteer rules for the future.
By the way, was she forced to lift those boxes? I do agree with Tim on that, getting hurt is one thing but common sense should tell you if you were jewelry or loose clothing while lifting boxes...something could very well happen.
On the ring part, I'd tell her to go fly a kite. Seriously. You can be nice and all (if you so desire), but it's a 100% ridiculous request. Giving it the open air of a discussion and/or vote is giving it 100% too much attention.
If I volunteer at the ice cream social and the chocolate sauce ruins my silk shirt, do I get a new silk shirt? If I break a nail, does the PTO pay for my manicure? It's beyond sad that she's asking. Added to the other troubling details you provided, and we've entered loo-loo land. The high-level meeting you've already held is too much.
Even if you're insured, I'd make her sue your PTO in smalls claim court before I went to my insurance company with it.
Do I sound over-the-top on this? Sorry. But c'mon....
RE: How did she get access to the schools postage system anyway?
She just printed up the letters at home and put them in envelopes and then I guess came in and dropped them in the school's mail bag which then gets sent off to the central mail area for the school district.
We had a special meeting last night with the principal, the PTO officers and the carnival chairs who have been in the thick of it with her. It was a special "strategic planning meeting" to discuss what to do if this woman shows up at the next meeting and asks formally for reimbursement for her ring. Our general thought is that we will open it up for general discussion, if it even gets that far, but that unless she can even prove the ruby's worth, via appraisal or something like that, then it would be a moot point. We have just never had anyone act this way before. I guess we have been very lucky in the past.
On the topic of the ring:
Can she prove that she damaged it during the event? If so, does your group have insurance that might cover this? If she can't provide proof(a witness), I don't know how seh could expect you to pay for it. A decent person wouldn't expect it, a smarter person wouldn't have worn the ring in the first place.
As for the other things:
It seems you really need to pull this person aside and tell her that you appreciate how much she wants to help, but she needs to make sure that she is doing it through the correct channels(i.e. being on a committee and being assigned the task). Remind her too, that anything that is done on behalf of the group that has a cost associated with it, must have prior approval of the membership or it won't be paid and will become the responsibility of the person who incurred the expense. At a general meeting I would emphasize the importance of having donations sent to the school and tracked carefully to avoid even the appearance of impropriety. That way it won't seem like you're picking on just her. It's a good reminder for everyone.
