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Public Apology and a little advice

19 years 11 months ago #72168 by TheMetzyMom
Replied by TheMetzyMom on topic RE: Public Apology and a little advice
It's funny, but I never think of any of the posts as 'one person' or 'one school'. Very rarely have I ever seen a post that could not, or is not, happening everywhere. Very rarely (can't think of once as a matter of fact) do you see peoples names, names of schools, names of board members, etc. Know what I mean? 99% of the problems posted are problems that we have all experienced or will experience or could experience. I was sitting here trying to think of who posted what in the past... I can think of the issues, but not who posted them. All the issues are important enough to be remembered, but I never think about who the poster is/was. It never mattered to me. I guess that if my posts were read by someone at my school, they might take it very personal... okay, some of them would take it very personal...lol... but I try very hard to be fair in my posts even when I'm ranting. I come here because it is where my friends are, where folks who have been there and done that are, and more importantly, it is where help is.
Recently our board has had some issues. Mostly personality conflicts, but there are some issues in there too. I came here and wrote about it. They talked to friends around town, businesses around town, strangers around town, etc. Get the picture? I know that everyone talks, whether it be here or around town. The difference? Chances are that YOUR folks won't run into me at the grocery store and know who I am and what I may or may not have done. This is definately not the case with small time snitches and small minded people who use their mouths instead of their typewriters. I post here a lot and some of it is good, some not so good. I tell folks at my school to visit here. I know they will probably read what I wrote and may/may not understand it. They may/may not like it. But the fact is that I have every right to try to get help for my 'problems'. I have every right to my own opinion of how things happened in any situation. I have every right to 'feel' the way I do, same as they do. Don't you just love it when someone says 'you should'nt feel that way'?
I for one have used your posts to help our school, to help solve problems, to avoid problems. It would have been a real shame if there hadn't been you...
People are problems, not schools. Sounds like you've discovered another problem... Hold your head up... you've nothing to be sorry for.

[ 12-12-2004, 10:28 AM: Message edited by: TheMetzyMom ]
19 years 11 months ago #72167 by pals
CBrooks hang in there and yes this is a great site to post on and you get alot of great advice. I know in the past that I have not posted certain vents because my principal is very aware of this site and me using it alot. I encourage our group members to check out this site! Venting is just a part, I guess the parent who snitched didn't think about freedom of speech...anyways talk to your president about your frustrations. I know earlier this week my principal WAS VERY VERY upset with me so I just confronted her and got everything out. Afterwards things are much better. Maybe this parent is jealous of your efforts...there are always people like that! Keep you chin up!!! For the record if i write something a person at my school doesnt like...well they can have my "job" Ha ha ha...

"When you stop learning you stop growing."
19 years 11 months ago #72166 by Serendipity
Hi!

Tim makes some great points about trying to keep yourself anonymous. I would never reveal my name or what school I am from here. Never let what you say here come back and bite you in the butt!

However, I don't think you should feel all that bad. You did not post what you did here in an attempt to slander or do harm to the folks you were ranting about. You were venting and thought you were doing so anonymously. As you said, this forum was therapy and a stress relief system for you. You did not do what you did with the intent of those people ever being affected by what you wrote.

Before you change your posting name you should write one more post venting about the little snitch that tattled on you! lol

Keep your head up!
19 years 11 months ago #72165 by Rockne
Hi CBrooks --

Well said.

This is an issue I've been thinking a lot about recently, as we've had several instances of folks calling in desperately trying to retract forum posts that got them in hot water back at school. This is a (very) public place, even if it seems like a safe confessional.

A couple of thoughts for all:

1. In general, posts here are much better done in general terms than in very specific terms. Folks who have offline relationships (close proximity, same district, etc.) should keep those details outside the forum.

2. Whenever speaking negatively or even making what could be perceived as negative statements about a particular person or group or school, I strongly suggest posting as an unregistered user and keeping out any details that might identify the place or group or person. Details below.

3. The goal here is to help each other help our schools as best we can and to support one another in what can be a taxing and sometime thankless (but oh-so-important-and worthwhile) job. In general, I can't think of any instance when the specifics in a post help us reach that goal. The following posted as an unregistered: "At our k-4 school in the midwest, we are struggling with a parent who makes everyone miserable. Last week, she was helping with an event and we had to ask her to go home." .... is just as helpful forum-wise as: "I'm in New York and one of our third grade parents was volunteering at our annual Fall Festival. She made evryone miserable and our VP had to ask her to leave."

The forum will be just as helpful and supportive -- and you'll be much less at risk of ruffling feathers at your school -- if we're all careful about this type thing.

Tim

Posting as Unregistered: Even if you're a registered user, you can make some posts as "unregistered." For many of you, the system probably remembers your user name and password (by using a cookie). If that's the case for you, just logoff using the logoff button on the top of your screen. Then -- to post as unregistered -- use a nonsense or new name in the user name field and leave the password field blank.

PTO Today Founder
19 years 11 months ago #72164 by C. Brooks
Public Apology and a little advice was created by C. Brooks
I am not known for my writing skills. I have been coming on this site for over three years. I found it the best therapy for the stress of my PTO woes. Apparently I went a little over board in some of my vents. A parent informed our current pres that I was bad mouthing her on this site. I never meant to bad mouth the actual prez, only the situation I felt I was in. I also noted my bitterness was unnecessary and immature. I appreciate everyone's helpful advice on that. I knew the feelings I was having at the time I made those posts were not normal, I needed a little help from people who had been there, you guys gave it to me that is all those posts were meant for.

My kids go to a wonderful school. The test scores are high and they learn a lot because of cirriculum and hard work the staff AND volunteers put in. I never meant for my kids school to get a black eye or for anyone's feelings to get hurt.

My advice is be careful what you post. People like to cause trouble when there is none to cause. If you have a problem, choose your words. Communication is key to everything in life, especially something like this.
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