I think what "Pals" wrote was really excellent. I would just suggest that you give it some time. Tomorrow is another day & maybe you will feel differently.
I am sure all of us that have been involved in anything, have come up against people who have made us all want to throw in the towel. I deal with people (not PTO - another town organization for kids)that I literally have to fight the urge to not smash their faces in with the nearest heavy object! Last year I actually refused to go to this groups holiday gathering because with alcohol involved I did not trust that I could control myself! lol
You really have to do what you think is best for yourself and your sanity. Only you can decide what is worth fighting for and what is not.
Kingman Arizona is nice this time of year. I know, I know. But just think about it.
Don't leave this board just because you've left your group. I've been in your boat and believe me, what goes around comes around. My story is a long one that deals with a lot of back-stabbing, half truths and out and out lies. I won't go into it here, but the support I received on this board was overwhelming. I still contributed, but I learned so much more. Now that I'm once again part of our school group, I am more prepared than I ever thought I'd be or need to be.
You are such a wonderful and essential part of this board that even though your school group has lost you, I hope that we won't. You're family to us.
I AM SO SORRY THAT YOU HAVE TO GO THRU ALL THAT. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON AND HAVE WORKED SO HARD AND HAVE MADE ALL OF US LAUGH AT SOME POINT ON THIS BOARD. ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO GIVE UP JUST CAUSE ONE PERSON IS A (*&^&^%? sOMETIMES ITS HARD TO DEAL WITH OTHER PEOPLE BUT I REALLY THINK IT WOULD BE A SHAME FOR YOUR SCHOOL TO LOSE SUCH A GOOD PERSON AND I HAVE BEEN READING YOUR MESSAGES AND KNOW HOW HARD YOU HAVE BEEN WORKING AND THE FUN YOU HAVE BEEN HAVING. GIVE IT ONE MORE SHOT. KILL HER WITH KINDNESS!!!! GOOD LUCK, I WISH YOU THE BEST.
TINA
nonsequitir...I saw this quote once..."IT IS BRAVE TO BE INVOLVED." When i saw the quote I thought about all of the complaints as a leader i get. I thought about the dealings with staff and uninvolved parents. I thought about the suggestions that come from parents who don't step up but wonder why we won't do that event. I thought about how hard it truly is to be involved, to put other people's children before yours so that you can run that booth at your carnival, To be at school all those hours getting ready for the Holiday Shop.
When you truly think about it ,It is very hard and you have to be brave. Have to be brave enough to realize that all of your hardwork can be shot down by one comment. Brave enough to know that you have to be the adult and swallow your pride-even when you are right. Brave enough to stand up for what is the best thing for the group, even if you get into a heated argument with your principal in the main office.oops... Brave enough to not give up even when your heart is hurting by betrayal and mistrust. or maybe it's communication???The moral to all this is that you have been involved because you enjoy it and value it, don't stop being brave because of this. Be braver by hanging in there and showing how much pride you truly have . Ask yourself Why you do it and if it's worth fighting for...I bet the answer is yes. Hang in there...you have given so many of us great advice on this forum and I truly would hate to see that gone...
"When you stop learning you stop growing."
I have said that no amount of abuse or disorganization could chase me away; I was wrong.
This is the reason:
Last spring our school put together a disorganized, disfunctional but monetarily successful silent auction and spaghetti dinner. The principal was ill-tempered with me the whole time. She criticized my donations, refused to sell my grab bags and yelled at me at no provocation. Not to mention hounding me every time she saw me. Not fun.
I thought that it could be due to the lack of organization so when they at the very last moment asked for a chairperson, I volunteered thinking that since I got the donations last time, they would draw me in anyway this time. Bad idea.
We needed to find a date for the next year so I talked with the principal in June to try to find a good one. When she said may was out I mentioned that sometime we should try a fall carnival and silent auction instead of the spaghetti. She jumped on the idea and asked the board to approve it.
I couldn't ever get anyone but her to call me back, but she assured me that they were all in favor of what I was doing. She also said (this was her main reason for wanting to do it) that we should have the teachers run the carnival games and earn money to make up for the budget cuts in supplies. She also asked to me find a way to fund the new kindergarten class as well. She made it sound like she had talked to all the board members and had it approved. But I couldn't talk about the carnival until she spoke to the teachers in August - which she never tried to do.
She wanted $5000-6000 on top of what I was supposed to get for the PTSA. Thanks to this website I felt I had found enough ideas to come reasonably close.
I got donations, talked to businesses that might help with a carnival (quietly) and made a plan that hopefully would fit the bill.
When we had a board meeting last week, everyone was floored at what I had planned. The principal had never mentioned a dollar amount to anyone but me and we didn't compare notes to find out that she had been manipulating all of us to get what she wanted. But during the meeting, someone suggested that we needed to get the general PTA population's consent. They wanted to do a survey to see if people would volunteer.
I was not expecting that and frakly think that such a survey would cause problems instead of help. I also know how this slow group works and realized that they would take a couple more weeks top decide. By then I would only had about 6-8 weeks to put it all together. I panicked. I felt like I was going to have a stroke.
I called the poor PTA pres at 7am to make sure I caught her. When we compared notes, she agreed that we needed to scrap it, start over and try again for the spring like we originally planned. Okay. No harm; no foul. I called everyone else to make sure it was okay and she was supposed to talk to the principal since I knew she'd try to manipulate me. I was not up for it.
So the next day, the pres didn't get to the principal before someone else did and she was understandably upset.
When I saw her, she said I should have talked to her first. I knew that meant she wouldn't have let me back out - which is why I didn't do it. Every one else had been so reasonable, I was planning on just starting over. I was fine with the fact that I had done all that work for nothing. Live and learn.
After axpressing her disappointment as only a principal can, she off handedly mentioned that she immeditately found someone to run the spaghetti dinner. When I protested that we had decided against she she obviously enjoyed claiming that she was doing it by the book. She had not talked to anyone else - at all.
So now I have an out. She has just been a major b**** in front of the whole board instead of reserving it for when no one's looking. I could write volumes on what this person has done to me.
I am going to take the out. I know if I get the itch to fundraise, I can call up a number of friends to help them with thier very worthy cause like fatal diseases and abused children.
I will still volunteer but only in things that have no contact with this woman. I have been abused and micromanaged into submission.
I hope they can find another chairperson and someone to look for donations. It was fun except for this VERY unavoidable person. But it's not worth my blood pressure and neck pains.
Thank you to everyone who gave me great ideas. I really love this forum. Hopefully I'll have a reason to keep coming back in the future.
Good luck with all that you do and I hope your kids get straight A's and you fundraisers raise the roof.
