This is hard for me to talk about but my family was a "chosen family" one year by our PTO. My husband took (not by choice ) a major pay cut one month and right before December the company announced his job would last until Feburary. The Principal could tell I was down (the kids knew nothing)and asked was everything okay.

Nothing, NOTHING is more humbling when your friends come to your door the day before Christmas with gifts and dinner. I was not on the Board that year and so the "girls" picked our family along with three others.

Please talk to the organizer and ask how you can help and how much money is needed and how can you help in the way of collecting, delivery, volunteers, etc. Also I'm not sure if this is in your area but we have a SHare program here. For $20 (or so) your group could purchase a dinner for the family, or even better, strike a deal with your local market and purchase the dinners that way. There is a way to do things without breaking the bank.

This weekend (while getting over the Colorado Flu ) I'm getting signs and banners ready for our Toy Drive. Life is better this year, but knowing how much this helps and how much it's needed now brings new meaning to lending a hand.

[ 11-28-2003, 04:16 PM: Message edited by: mykidsmom ]

Pals,

I think you have gotten a lot of very sound advice here. Maybe you can approach the people asking for your PTO to support this activity with ideas now.

When I first read your post my thoughts were on how can this be a function of the PTO and how can anyone expect it to be. If these families all had kids at your school then maybe an argument could be made, but what about the 200 or so other families that would then be excluded or the entire attandance of the school that would equally be excluded.

The PTO could support an activity that would help selected folks but IMHO it may not sponsor or spend its funds on this. Support is different from actively sponsoring.

My school also has a huge percentage of poorer families. Our PTO works with the local community center in our most poverty striken area supporting various activities. We also work getting school clothes that we collect to families through that center that need them, the only rule is that those clothes first have to be offered to families with children attending our school, otherwise we would be breaking faith with the entire program.

The parents who got upset over the possibility that the PTO funds might be distributed to the purpose asked were perfectly right in saying this is not a purpose for using those funds.

I am sorry that the person asking for this is upset that your organization can not provide for her needs, but she needs to understand that a PTO is not organized for such purposes. There are numerous organizations that are she needs to ask them for that money.

We all want to help, but we are charged with a responsibility to ensure that the money we raise goes to the purposes that we have said it will (either directly by our comments or by our by laws), to do otherwise is to break faith with the people that have given the money in the first place. The school, and supporting the educational needs (directly or indirectly) of the children, is the governing principle that PTOs are organized under. Providing a Christmas, no matter how noble it is or heart wrenching, to 12 families, is not in keeping with that principle.

C Brooks..this sounds like something we could easily do, and there is nothing more than helping our own that i would love to do. heraing from more members the problem lies that this money would be spent on grownups and not kids.to take 500.00 and donate for grownups when this money was raised for our students seems wrong. if i cant afford to buy the grownups in my family something i just dont do it.its all about the kids

For the clothes closet most clothes are donated. Our FRC person has a washer and dryer and as soon as she gets them they are washed. They usually come to the first PTO meeting and explain their services, they ask that if you'd rather you child not wear it please don't send it. Underwear must be in a package. Of course those have to be new. They have a clothes budget. They also perform home visits when nessacary. I am not sure why, but our FRC lady has told me that before. There is also a parent council. Back on track- the clothes are in the front of the school where families can easily come in and go through them without everyone knowing. Pancake days are the worst! They get the syrup all over them and have to come and change clothes. There is also alot of playground incidents after a rain. In my day we would have been sent home for fresh clothes. I am glad we have this service since the majority of our parents have a public job.

hI C BROOKS...YOUR SCHOOL SOUNDS LIKE THE WAY I WOULD LIKE TO SEE OUR SCHOOL GO. WE ARE A FAIRLY NEW GROUP WHO SEEMS TO BE GETTING SETTLED INTO A NICHE. WE ARE KICKING OFF A PARENT ASSESSMENT SURVEY AND TEAM IN JANUARY TO TRY TO HELP UNDERSTAND WHAT OUR FAMILES NEED OR WANT FROM OUR GROUP. wE HAVE DONE SO MUCH TO GET FAMILY FUN NIGHTS AND ADD FREE EVENTS FOR OUR KIDS BUT WOULD LIKE TO EXPAND OUR DIRECTION. I THINK THE PROBLEM WE HAVE WITH THIS REQUEST IS THAT WE WERE UNAWARE OF IT AND THE SCHOOL COMMUNITY THAT DOES THE FUNDRAISING IS AS WELL. MOST MEMBERS SAY THAT IT WOULD BE AGREAT PROJECT TO HELP NEXT YEAR AND DO FUNDRAISING JUST FOR IT. AS FAR AS YOU CLOTHES CLOSET HOW DOES THAT WORK???

We have a Family Resource Center. I am not sure how it is funded. I know that United Way has a hand in it some how. I think we get this fantastic program because of our poverty level. There is an office in each elementary school and the main office is at the pre-school. They have clothes closets for families in need and also it is used for kids that have accidents at school. They have a food drive every November and if a family looses their home they help them out too. They have an Angel Tree Project every year. A teacher refers students that she feels are in need of this or a parent may ask. The Angel is adopted and a $10.00 gift is bought. Last year the PTO sponsored a fundraiser for this event. This year they are also have a "Toys for Tots" drive to go along with it. If for some reason Angels aren't adopted they see to it that the child gets something. It is very discreet, even for our small town. The kids are oblivious to who is on the list.

It is in our by laws to support our school AND communtiy so this has never been a problem when we help them out in any way. Because of budget cuts we may have to help them a little bit more. This may be something you would like to look into since you are in a lower income area.