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Forced Gratitude?

19 years 7 months ago #66011 by Michelle B
Replied by Michelle B on topic RE: Forced Gratitude?
There are two lines of thought here and while I tend to agree with you, I can also see the other side of the coin.

Does every good deed have to have some kind of reward? What is that teaching our children. To always expect something in return for doing something for others? It's just a little too greedy for me

Honestly, I was brought up, as I am sure you probably were too, to write a thank you card for a gift or for kind actions. It was part of teaching us manners, not to expect something in return. But the reality is, not everyone is taught that or teaching that anymore.
Unfortunately, some parents don't instill in their children the simple affect of a thank you and expressing gratitude. As teachers, they have seen this over the years and you may be able to go back to a time when they didn't encourage the gift or act of gratitude. If the parent doesn't teach their child to express gratitude for kind actions, then where will they learn it?
I'm sure most of us are intelligent adults who know when to be thoughtful but the reality is, there are those that have no clue. I'm sure it is meant for them, not you.
I wouldn't take it personally and I most certainly wouldn't look at it as being forced. You were going to do it anyway and for the others, think of it as a gentle reminder that manners still matter. And I think we also need a reminder that gifts don't have to be purchased. A flower picked from the garden or anything else their creative mind can design can be a gift. It doesn't have to cost money.
19 years 7 months ago #66010 by Downrivermama
Replied by Downrivermama on topic RE: Forced Gratitude?
Thanks. I thought it was just me. I don't mind doing it, I just don't like to be told I have to do it. I talked to an Mom who volunteers at the school and she thought it was rude too. Our PTO can't have events that we might charge for because supposedly we have a lot of low income families. Thanks, I thought maybe it was just one of those days, where everything hits me the wrong way!
19 years 7 months ago #66009 by LUVMYKIDS
Replied by LUVMYKIDS on topic RE: Forced Gratitude?
I have to agree with you all. I would think the teacher would just have the kids make something. I know I appreciate those little homemade treasures more than some little trinket someone bought. Maybe you should contact your teacher and offer to help the kids make thank you cards in class!

Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.
19 years 7 months ago #66008 by ScottMom#1
Replied by ScottMom#1 on topic RE: Forced Gratitude?
Our teachers generally have the students make something like a card to show their appreciation. Occasionally they will ask the PTO for a small spirit item or other token gift. I guess this is why we have a volunteer appreciation reception, so that this doesn't fall on the shoulders of the parents, some of which can't afford food their families. My honest opinion is that if they are having a party, that should be enough. I've been accused of being cheap though.

The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating-in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life. --Anne Morris
19 years 7 months ago #66007 by Downrivermama
Forced Gratitude? was created by Downrivermama
I was wondering what you all think of this. My daughter is part of a group of 1st graders who were tutored by High School Students (I believe NHS students at that)in reading. She recently brought home a note that on the last day they would be tutored they would have a pizza party to celebrate their hard work. The note also said that the, "teachers suggest that each child bring in a small gift to thank thier tutor for their help." I thought that part of the note was very crass and insulting to the parents. I feel I am an intellegent adult and I think I know when to be thoughtful! I am very disappointed to see what little regard these teachers must have for parents. It is almost like saying if your kid doesn't bring in something they will be the odd man out.

My child and I were going to do a little something anyways, but now it feels forced and expected. (I was going to have my daugher sit down and make a card, but instead it's store bought and a gift certificate to McD's) I was told that these students were doing it for community service credit. Does every good deed have to have some kind of reward? What is that teaching our children. To always expect something in return for doing something for others? It's just a little too greedy for me>
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