This situation seems unfortunate and I'm not suggesting that lies and manipulation are okay. But I do have to chime in with one other angle on part of this. We had a GREAT relationship with our former principal, but nothing is ever perfect. He, too, instructed the teachers not to approach us directly for requests.

In some sense, I think he was being too controlling. He wanted all requests funneled solely through him. (But note, he attended every PTO meeting and was extremely supportive and active). Although I think he went a little overboard, his reasoning was that he wanted to assure the appropriateness of any requests and equity. He really had a tough balancing act keeping everyone happy. Say, for instance, one year he decided the kindergarten classrooms needed extra supplies (out of his budget) and then the kindergartner teachers also successfully requested something special from the PTO. That puts him dealing with 5 other grades ticked off that the kindergartners got favored TWICE - regardless of where the funds came from.

I could see his point, so we had to be very tactful, carefully soliciting information from teachers about needs, but coordinating it with him as well. One year in particular he seemed a little more heavy handed about this. But we didn't give up our contact with the teachers, we were just more informal and diplomatic about it.

I agree.....if this principal tells your teachers not to talk to the PTO about classroom funds and items........what's the point of the pto??? to be her little pay for everything i want guinea pig?? she makes no sense

You also mentioned the Sup. has a clue to what has been going on, it would be good (if you can) meet with the Sup off 'campus' and discuss your concerns and action you wood like to take.
I will also bet that you will be told there are proceedures to go through on all levels, reading what you wrote tells me she took the "play book" and tossed it awhile ago!

Her theory is that it draws attention to the school and appears as though we "have needs".

WEll, YEAH! don't all schools have needs that a school district should take care of? Logic for some....

In addition, she has verbally threatened her teachers into not talking to PTO about any classroom needs.

Now I want to roll up my sleeves and help you. You know really, what can she do to a parent that just happens to bring by a reem of paper for her 1st grade teacher? Wait, nevermind, it's not worth someone losing their job. These are serious issues and no one should have to volunteer much less work in conditions like this.
First and foremost you should talk with the Superindent(sp) and talk about what you want to do. I will repeat what Menzy said, go as a concerned parent. Right now, you are a parent first and foremost.
Keep us posted...

I'd like to echo what Metzy said and just add that you should have documentation of what's going on. You don't want it to turn in to a case of her word against yours. For instance if she made a motion at a meeting to pay for something and it wasn't passed, that should be in the minutes. good luck!

I try to defend principals when and where possible only because I know their job entails so much more than we see. They tend to get a bad reputation for having to do what it is they get paid to do. That said...

I've got 3 words for you:

YOU SHOULD SNITCH!

HOWEVER... do it as concerned individual parents, not as a parent group. Protect your own assets (hehe...lol...), follow your mission statement and bylaws, and steer clear of the principal until the dust clears.

I would not suggest you go over her head (referring to the 'school having needs' portion of your post), but I have to tell you in all honesty that that is what I would probably do.

Good Luck!

Heres what we do, and it seems to keep everything running smoothly...A representative from the Parent Club gives a monthly report at the school district meeting. We are on the adgenda and we let the school board of directors know what activities, fundraisers and expenditures we have either completed or have upcoming.
By reporting to the school board, they know what extra enrichment things are being funded by us and it keeps people (like your principal), from asking for things that should come from somewhere else.
Hope this helps.

Lauri