This year I am a co-president, it's a huge year at our school (we're building a new one) and we work great together. We sat down before agreeing to even be on the ballot and said here's what you will do (President of __________) and here's what I will do (President of ____________). For small decisions - we know each other well enough - we just make them, for big decisions we talk (actually, we talk every day anyway). Our by-laws did not speak to whether or not we could have co-officers with the exception of treasurer - neither of us was around when they were written. They do say that the president only votes in the event of a tie, and that each officer position has one vote - so we acknowledged in the minutes that between us there is one vote - there has never been the need to break a tie, so it hasn't come up. We also agreed that if anything PTO related came between us, our friendship was more important and we would both resign - the vice-president is aware of this "pact" and the potential for her having to become president, but hey - we've made it through November and we're doing just fine. There are times when each of us has had to travel and the other chairs a meeting without one of us there, and we joke that between us we share a brain so every once in a while if you get a blank stare from me, it's because it's her turn to use the brain. It can work - the long and short of it is that there has to be clear communication from start to finish on the thing. I would never think that you should be co-anything with someone just because of how an election turned out. Holy cow - to be honest, I'm just amazed that there are still PTO's who have true "elections" with ballots and options - seems everywhere I've been the cream just rises.

This makes no sense to me. Your co-president says she feels out to the loop and wants duties defined and her way of accomplishing this is to bad mouth you, spread rumors to school staff and try to initiate a coup-de-etat?

All the previous postings are from people whose opinions I respect but I would offer a different tack. I say meet her head on, confront her with what you have been told from different sources, cite the sources and ask her straight out... What is your problem with me? You can do it in front of witnesses or in private. There is something to be said for witnesses when addressing a difficult situation. I would then tell her that you will not tolerate her maligning you behind your back and if she can't pony up and play nice, suggest that she consider resigning.

Like I said, I come from a different place than others on this thread. I always feel better when the air is cleared and all players are on level footing. I am not afraid of confrontation and I don’t hold grudges. I also acknowledge that others are not of the same mind and respect that as well. But remember, this is your reputation she is messing with and you have every right to defend it. You haven't done anything wrong.

Good luck.

I been a Co-President for 5 years, and have had 3 different Co's with me ( 2 have moved up to middle school). It can work- I have never had ill feelings with any of the 3 people with whom I have worked. The key is to NOT stoop to gossip and heresay, and to CLEARLY define each other's roles.

Since YOU are good at initiating, and she's not.. why don't you initiate a coffee- meeting with her (just the 2 of you.. with NO others to fuel emotional fires).. and say Hey, I want to talk about how we can mak e sure we are evenly distributing our work load! ASK her, what do YOU want to do, what are YOU good at, what do you like? As opposed to taking the " controlling" role where you say I am good at this and I will do this, and you can do that"..

Also acknowledge stuff that you are terrible at, and ask if those are any of her strengths...


If she gets uppity about that last event where you got " credit" remind her what you told us.. that your goal is for the good of the school, not just for credit. If you really get a sense that she needs some public acknowledgement, then ask her what kind of event would SHE like to organize? and then work with her to set up a plan to delegate, organize and execute it.

Perhaps if you both acknowledge each others' strengths and weaknesses, then you will have a greater respect for one another and learn from each other! ( although it may seem to you that it's one way.. perhaps you can at least SAY this to her, in a nice way)..

good luck.. keep us posted!

Well at least you have a clearer picture now. you're right...she won't call the meeting. You'll have to but it'll be worth it to get the peace pipe started. The year is only half over (well not really yet)...d

Funny that 2 female betta fish cannot live in the same bowl.....add one more, for three, and it eliminates the power struggle. Better yet, of course,is just one. So says the info on the www, about taking care of your betta fish.

Thanks d.....I've been away hence late reply. While I was away I asked our school PAL (parent academic liaison) person to talk to the co-pres. He was diplomatic and didn't let her know that I had requested he talk to her. Turns out that she feels like she's out of the loop and wants more of a division of duties. Basically it points to all the things you have suggested. She told him that she wanted a board meeting where everyone's duties are assigned so everyone involved can take more ownership. I am in agreement with all of this, because I don't want to get into trouble simply for trying to get things done! However, I am almost certain that she will not take the initiative to organise the board meeting that she says she wants. Since I can't let her know that I know (if you know what I mean), I will sit tight for a few days (we're on Thanksgiving break right now) and see whether or not she is proactive this time.
Watch this space. And thanks again for the advice....it's good to get some perspective!
Karenc