In my experience (only with friends in the same situation) the tenacious parent is the one who gets results. Just stay reasonable! I'm sure you will, but it's so hard when you are fighting for someone you love.
And I agree with all you've said. I think we have a lot in common.
I agree with most on this board and would much rather use cooperation and team effort to solve problems. You just need to know when to give up on diplomatic efforts and just call a person out.
I am presently going toe to toe with my sons school, trying to get him services for his learning disability. Now that's a REAL battle.
well, the meeting went well. She resigned as expected. Everyone was very pleasant, but bottom line was that she felt she was being kept in the dark about "things". We were not able to establish what those things are & everyone else feels that the group is progressing well and that there is a great sense of team & achievement. The number of parent volunteers are up and yesterday we had a holiday party that the parents put on - organised by the PTO VP & other volunteers - which was extremely well attended. However, my co-chair wasn't present (her name was on the sign up sheet though), and today she claimed she knew nothing about it! There you go. I'm closing the chapter on this one.
I am so grateful to all of you for your perspective and solid advice. I think it was a big factor in me keeping a rational & balanced approach. I hope I can return the favor in future. So ademom...put the big guns back in the cupboard & let's save them for next time!
I'm hearing you all! I've since decided to go with the division of duties option as I'm inclined to agree that anything else is only going to inflame the situation and I'm still in the right...yeh!
Also as we haven't got much going on right now, we haven't seen much of eachother so I figured I'd sit back and see what she has to say at tomorrow's meeting. I now have complete confidence in the rest of the board...they have all approached me of their own accord. My feeling is that she may well stand down of her own volition, so I'm going to do nothing but listen and be polite!!
I agree with IMHO that this could cause some serious problems for your group. If having co-chairs is not working for your team then I too would recommend making the bylaws clear on the subject - for the future.
As it is now, I think you and your co-chair need to find ways to peacefully co-exist. Dividing your team half way through the school year is probably just asking for trouble. I believe it is also taking attention away from more important issues.
I don't believe that it's ethical, even if your bylaws are vague, to call for such a major vote at the meeting. I would personally recommend notifying members in advance and also requiring a 2/3 vote. Blindsiding your co-chair and your members (those present and absent) would be very shady.
Finally, are you prepared to step down gracefully should you lose this particular "election"? It's a possible outcome that many overconfident candidates have faced.
Personally, I think that by eliminating one person from the president role at this point in time, you may only create more problems for your group and yourself. IMHO, and take it only as that, I would think that the least conflicting way is to formally define what responsibilities you will have and which ones she will have. i feel like trying to "create" a position is only going to further ignite this person and cause more problems. However, i would seriously consider working on your by-laws. It sounds as though they are very vague and can be used for anyone's particular purpose. I see bylaws as a guideline to the group. they should be fairly clear and consice and be able to help you determine answers to problems you have. not something that has many loopholes.
all of this is just my little opinion and not in any way a criticism. You are the only one walking in your shoes and having to deal with this situation. you have to determine what is truely fair to your school. you should check out the post on crazy volunteer in Involvement Ideas and Challenges. Sounds like you could be headed this way.
