All this seems to go back to another thread and what dlf and crewchief mentioned..PTOA officers are role models no matter if in their job or elsewhere in community, and held to a certain standard. If you cant represent your position with dignity and grace, youve got to agree not to be such a quasi 'public' figure, becaue everything you do, reflects back on your organiztion.
It is something that is often overlooked, this 'representative' aspect of PTO leadership. Many people think what they do in private or off school, has no bearing on their life as PTO officer. Nothing could be further from the truth.
It will follow you, your reputation, and reflect back on your group for whom you are spokesperson. I guess that is why most folks here feel you should be removed/have stepped down from your postion , regardless of if you made amends with the other parents (who seem to have acted atrociously by the way , the other mom and dad!!!)...but see, they werent officers,,,,so their actions didnt impact them as it did you . GOod luck,anddont fret over it.
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” Oliver Wendell Holmes

I think the one thing that upset me most about this is the fact that wlovelace said if this happened again she would do the same thing. I find this very disturbing. Yes she should be upset again, but I would think that she would not off the deep end and use the language she did before.

As president of our PTO, had I witnessed such behavior I would have to have a meeting with the executive board about this kind of behavior. You have to deal with all kind of parents and their attitudes and who is to say that this kind of behavior would not happen again only in a more public place such as a school activity or family fun night.

I have never had to ask any of our board members to leave their children at home. They have brought them to any of our board meeting.

Something else, the board members who witnessed this outburst were the ones who met with the principal. I think given the circumstances that what they did was right. I think it is wonder that they still want her to be involved in all the fund raisers she had as co-president. Really the only thing she is missing out on is the board meetings and being able to vote. I think that if all leave it alone and function as normal, next year she can run for co-president.

Wlovelace, I wish you all the luck this next year. I know you much be great at what you do and must be a really wonderful person for your board to still want you to participate. I also think it speaks volumes about your character for wanting to work with this board as you feel you were wrongly ousted. It also shows your love for the students at your school to want to continue to support them. Best of luck this next year.

OK crewchief - heres my last word on this (yes you were right as most alwayss, i did have more in me!), re your comment that the principal shouldnt have done anything to affect the majority decision - of course not, I agree absoulutely, but the princiapl could have seen to it that the rules were adhered to.

ANyway, wlovelace, had you been at our school you would have recieved a fair shake, our rules say that one can vote out an officer BUT the person up for removal is allowed to talk in front of the voting members about the charges made before any vote is taken.

And if your group doenst have bylaws, they could consider making some. Seems most groups have bylaws and they help keep order in disputes such as these.

And if you dont have bylaws, and you want to contest your removal, maybe consider the fair chances you have at any reinstatement, given whats transpired ie if the principal supports a vote against you without ever having verified wtih you, the charges broght to her by your peers, you are in for a kilamanjaro struggle that you are bound to lose.

sayonara from me!!

wlovelace said "The childs mother called her father and he came to pick her up. He was upset and told my daughter and another girl that if "they every pick on his daughter again they will get beat up and have all thier hair pulled out."

Seems the out of control behavior/emotions of a Father (who hadnteven witnnessed a thing!)set off the emotions in wlovelace.

It doesnt excuse her emotions, but explains them. It is very very very hard to stand up to bullies. ANd in front of ones own child, imagine such an outrageious, inappropraite, public statement from another parent directed at ones own kid. For w to have said absolutely nothing, would have been wrong and done a great disservcie to her child.

OK so maybe the reaction was out of hand, BUT it was protection of the child/natural instinct. ANd we dont know what preceded all this,there may be a history between these parents/their children.

One must show ones child that one stands up for her/him. Clearly it could have been done more diplomatically, but that dad was the provoker and if all persons with emotions that are set off when a child is threatened (especially within earshot of the child) were kicked off the PTO, we would have ZERO leaders and members. Its human nature to defend ones 'cub' when one is a mother bear. Not saying the antics were justified (not saying she should remain co pres), I just reread the first post and realized not one person commented on teh outragious bullying behaviour of the Dad that set w off!

Maybe the principal or PTO needs to host an anti bullying session for the kids and parents alike.

I think one key point is being missed from the original post:

PTO however not even knowing why I was so angry met with the Principal of our school and determined that I should be removed from PTO.

w never said the principal made the decision. With respect to this unknown variable - perhaps this principal was simply doing what we regularly hear people asking for here. Just maybe this situation was presented and the principal said, 'You know, this is a PTO issue. I'll support the majority decision.' If that were the case, then the principal would be acting against the PTO by meeting with w and forcing a change in the majority position.

Also, she says in the above quote that PTO didn't even know why she was upset. Really? I'll bet they did. And, so what? I wouldn't allow anyone, for any reason, to behave so outrageously in a meeting I was presiding over. If emotions are running that high then the individual removes him/herself from the situation until cooler heads can prevail.

I agree whole-heartedly with Rockne's hope that the group is generously agreeing to still welcome her to be part of the volunteer activities and to continue to be part of her daughter's education. But a leadership position for someone who lacks emotional control is out of the question.

I meant to add: "A prudent person profits from personal experience, a wise one from the experience of others." Dr. Joseph Collins