We had a few negative Nelly's last year and I am so glad they have moved on. When they started with their negativity others did respond and set them straight. It is an open forum for discussion. As easy as it is for them to be negative and argumentative others who are positive can counter their negativity.
By the end of the school year they were better. I can not understand why people live their lives like that. This year we have a bigger turnout at meetings and events and I hope it is because I have put positive people around me in the executive board. If you welcome everyone happily and listen to their opinions
they want to participate more. It is all about the kids in the end.
As a parent and ex PTO chair, and probably a "thorn", I say try to make that parent feel heard and invite her/him into the fold and look at their ideas. I had ideas that my other chairs just blew off and it was very fustrating especially when again this year volunteers are few and the current chairs are using the same old tactics that don't work (the fact that they are a clic doesn't help either) they just don't get. It is already turning off new comers.
Sometimes this issue also stems from the "negative" person feeling shoved out of events, or their feeling that their views on an issue are being disregarded. Is your PTO viewed as "cliquish"? Do ALL of your members feel welcomed? Even Negative Nell has the right as a parent, to share her/his opinion! I agree with a short, open forum for everyone to bring up an issue that is relevant, then asking Negative Nell if she would like to help work on that, whatever it is.
We had the same thing happening. We stick to an agenda and time limits but some people can make an entire meeting negative in just a few sentences.
I am the secretary and started bringing a digital recorder to the meetings. I told everyone I would be recording the meetings to make the minutes totally accurate. The negative parent didn't say anything that meeting and has not been back.
This happens to most of us.
Some advice ... set an agenda and stick to it
have board members meet ahead of time to be united if you know a bad subject is bound to come up. If it is school issues make sure it is addressed to the school board. PTO are mostly about fundraising and helping support school with funds, not school issues we have no controll over. and if they are so concerned about an issue you do deal with ... tell them their idea is intersting and ask them to research it and bring you a detailed plan. If it is a negative... such as "I don't like how a certain event was run last year" .. ask them how they would run it and vote on it right then or ask them if the'd like to coordinate the event .. be the chair of the event and I'll bet they wont. It's hard without knowing the exact issue ... Email me if you want to share more ... This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
I agree with Barb. If you follow Robert's Rules of Order in how you run a meeting, they don't have much time to complain. Another way to steer them in a positive direction is to hold a 15 minute solutions session prior to or during a meeting. You probably already know what their gripe is, so have everyone break up in to random groups of 3-5 people each with a different problem the PTO faces and have them come up with a solution or ideas on how to solve it. Then they feel heard, others know you've addressed their concerns and dealing with it in a public manner will keep the respectability of the board high.
Granted, you will always have people complaining about something and starting rumors that are ridiculous and unhelpful. It's part of any organization. It's important that you stay positive and not let them get you down.
