You probably just wanted to get a situation handled quickly without bothering anyone, but it appears that was the wrong thing to do.
Can you meet on her "one option"? That would be a nice gesture that might smooth things a bit. It's probably not really her only option, but she's trying to show you that she can make things hard if she's not pleased. My sense here is that she is feeling left out. She thought, like you, that you were all going to work as a team, but her impression is that's not what's happening. First and foremost, sincerely apologize for hurting her feelings and making her feel left out of the decisionmaking. From now on make sure that you are communicating and including all of your board in decisions. If you can't get hold of someone, at least attempt and then leave them a message that a decision needs to be made by a deadline and "this is my thought" of how we should proceed.
As for the voting procedures: Our elementary bylaws stated that the BOARD could make decisions on items of $100 or less. That meant that the majority of the board members had to approve the item, not just one person. That didn't mean we had to call meetings though, instead I would call/e-mail board members and get their opinions/votes.
I was elected last May as our PTO president. The other board member are both good friends of mine and I thought we would have a great time work together. It has not turned out to be that way. I need some advise on how to fizzle out a tense situation. Over the summer there were some desisions made by me on some date the principal need. When I went over them with one of the board member she was very upset that the date were not voted on. The situation since then has escalated and now she feels she is only here to write the checks and has stated this to me. I need help on what we need to vote on and what I can answer without calling a meeting. Our by-laws only state that a vote must occur if it involves over $200.00. What should I do? As of right now I have tried to call a meeting before the open meeting to get this ironed out but she only giving us one option to get together. Can anyone help wth some advice?