Question: PTO President called and attacked me?

So I am wondering why a new PTO president would call me the morning after the back to school night and proceed to tell me that some of the "other parents" had concerns that I was a room mother last year and that I had bought alot of the stuff and that I need to only buy like the drink and that is all and then the REAL REASON she called she proceeded to tell me that I need to tell my 27 year old daughter that she needs to wear different clothes? I told her no I was not going to do that and it was funny to me that she was even going there since my daughter in living in Texas not in Utah now I have her children because she has mussle cancer and so they want me to call her up and tell her that she needs to worry that if she ever comes to the school C. Elem that she needs to not wear any kind of spagetti straps or tank tops because she has tattoos and that bothers some of the "Other Moms"? So I tried to politely tell her I would bring back the room mother packet and I think I need to ask for my dues back because I really don't feel like I want to be any part of PTO that is more worried about what a parent is wearing last year or if they might come to the school this year? I think that maybe if she was so worried about this that is something she should get my daughters number and call her up and ruin her day? I want to say she is a Witch and now I want nothing to do with school sad for my gsons and for the kids in their classes since I worked really hard last year and when I called and no one could help I made it happen then I am getting a slap in the face for that? I made scrapbooks and I ddn't ask for money I really feel like they are jelous that I did a good job and they need to find something to be petty about. What do you think about this you could send me a private message I will give you the teacher that I helped last year you could ask her if I was rude to anyone or that I didn't do a good job and if she was affended? I am pretty up set about this and I am wondering if the PTO president has any right to call up people and tell them they need to tell other adults what to wear? You know I think it isn't right to have such judgemental people in our schools that will be around the children and that rub off on them? Please send me a message back and let me know what you think about this? Thank you very much for your help. A grandparent that is concerned Very Concerned that they are more worried about causing drauma than worrying about what they can do to better the school and help the kids to learn more? Just what are the PTO laws do they let the President do what ever and say what ever that hurts people's feelings and makes them not want to be a part of the school or things the kids are doing?

Asked by Anonymous

Answers:

Community Advice

rm9116 writes:
First, I'm so sorry to hear that your daughter is currently dealing with a cancer diagnosis. It's an emotional time and you already know that the PTO president was out of line. I would contact the PTO president. I'd explain that right now, you hope that your daughter is alive to appear at school wearing any type of clothing and that you can't be concerned about her apparel when she's dealing with serious health issues and you are taking care of her children. I'd also make sure that the PTO president understands that it is not her job to pass along gossip from other parents and that if they have concerns, they are welcome to address them with you or your daughter individually, once her health permits AND NOT UNTIL THEN. Tell the PTO president that you're happy that she has volunteered to take on your room parent responsibilities, since you know she's trying to save you work during this difficult time, and that you will give her the packet as soon as you see her or you would be happy to leave it with the principal. I'd also talk to the principal about what occurred, because he/she needs to know that you, a valued volunteer, have been asked not to perform a role that you handled capably last year. Again, please know that you have my deepest sympathy on your family situation and disappointment that you would be spoken to in such a manner by anyone, much less someone associated with the school PTO. Handle yourself with grace, because by your conduct, you have a chance to give the new president a lesson in courtesy and respect that she obviously needs.