OK, deep breaths. As more of the story unfolds, it doesn't seem nearly as tragic as it did at first sight.

JHB is great at helping to put things into perspective. Staying calm in the eye of the storm and looking at the big picture is important. Gathering as many details as possible is also very important.

After reading through everything, I have to say that I'm not at all alarmed.

1. Teacher Appreciation is an important part of most parent group supported activities.

2. $600 toward a holiday event for teachers isn't outside the budget for many parent groups.

3. Having something away from the school and in a more elegant atmosphere makes the teachers feel special.

4. Not including the aides and support staff was where the principal chose to draw the line. We often find ourselves in similar situations when planning activities.

5. The "we've always done things this way" statement is unfair. This is a new principal who's trying to do things a bit differently. It's OK if it's not the same as it's always been.

Here are my suggestions to you and your team:

1. Take two deep breaths and then reassess your reaction to this situation. Could there have been a bit of overreaction?

2. Applaud the principal for asking in the first place. She didn't have to.

3. Also applaud her for trying some different things to help boost teacher morale. A nice dinner in a warm, homey holiday atmosphere sounds lovely!

4. If you feel that aides and support staff also deserve a holiday treat (I would agree!) then work with your team to plan something. Holiday themed baskets, a cookie exchange with items donated by parents and the PTO are nice. Pizza, sandwiches or other catered lunch is also good.

5. Let the principal and teachers who participated in the dinner know that you hope they had a wonderful time and that you're glad the PTO was able to contribute to their evening.

Really, the dinner has already taken place, everyone had a great time, and the PTO can take partial credit for it. Turning it into a negative situation puts an unfair spotlight on the principal, makes the teachers feel guilty instead of appreciated and, overall, will create a rift between the pto and the school.

If you and your team really feel that this was over and above what the principal's fund is intended for then draft a more specific use policy for the fund and vote it in at a future meeting.

Thank you so much for your responses! This was a party just for our teachers (no aides, or support staff), so about 25 people. She had $1600 to start with, and used $400 for a luncheon at the beginning of the year, and $50 for hoagies. Our last principle used it only for the students - pizza parties, supplies, cd players for classrooms... We have not paid the bill yet. This all happened last night (Friday) - we agreed to pay for a holiday party (unfortunately without questions) but we assumed it would be at school (luncheon) like ALL other events. This is the first time something like this came up. We are just stunned by her actions and when we saw the receipts everything changed. We were not sure where to turn - but we are not comfortable in paying for this. And as the voice of our membership, they would be extremely mad and probally stop supporting fundraisers we it was known what we paid for. Again, thank you -- we are not sure where to turn next for this - but need to do something by Monday morning!

Just playing devils advocate here - but how many people attended the party? Are you saying the $600 PTO funds covered ALL the expenses? If so, that amount wouldn't have gone far with the menu you mentioned, so it must have been a relatively small group.

But it might not be so bad if it were a large group (50-60 people) and she paid portions herself and instead of having, for example, a luncheon at school for staff, she did something more elaborate, hosted it at her house, and paid the difference for the frills.

At first glance - it does seem like poor judgement. But there could be a lot of mitigating factors. How big is this fund she can pull from at her discretion? How large was the group at the party? How are the funds normally used?

Years ago when our elementary PTO was doing well ($25K-$45K per year to distribute), we frequently gave the principal supplements to his activitiy fund - the miscellaneous school account he controlled. That year, I think we gave $3000. He always let us cherry pick the expenditures we wanted to claim. For instance, he might spend $500 on paper goods and $500 on a riveting speaker for the kids. Hmmm... when it came time to bullet PTO accomplishments, which one did we want to list as part of our $3000 covering? (Remember, there was more school money than PTO money in that account.)

For part of teacher appreciation week, he brought in folks to give staff chair massages (head/neck) in the teacher's lounge. Because of concerns about appropriateness, we didn't list that item as funded by the PTO. We took credit for the luncheon.

So my question goes back to - was the event FULLY funded by the PTO or merely supplemented?

In her defense--not that I think she has too much of one here; she did ask. I suspect the definition of party was what was askew here and I agree it was completely inappropriate. I wouldn't want the word to get out either but when it does, and yes it will; you guys are going to have to share in some of the blame.

I once told someone they could order spiritwear (not asking for all the details of the amount). 8,000 dollars later we had spiritwear up the wazzo and a resigned chair. I owned that as my mistake and we sold spiritwear till the cows came home.

Good luck
d

One more thing...It is quite disrespectful and inconsiderate for her to put you in the position to have to explain this expenditure for her good time at her house. I'll never understand some people.

As a parent....INAPPROPRIATE !!!! WRONG !!!! IRRESPONSIBLE !!!! A party at her home is considered PERSONAL...PERIOD !!!! I would be very concerned about her priorities as far as the school and children are concerned. Have you reimbursed her yet??? If not, then there would be nothing wrong about you refusing to reimburse for this who-rah time at her home. If so, make sure she fully understands, this is to NEVER happen again. RIDICULOUS. For the officer's sake, I hope no other parents realize that $600 went for something like this. I don't think parents would want to support fundraising for such a thing. Well, maybe if they were there, they might...haha