As we are in the midst of Teacher Appreciation week and, many of us, contemplating Volunteer Appreciation project & events, I thought it might be a good idea to really think about what 'appreciation' means for everyone.

In addition to PTO involvement, I was also Cubmaster for my son's Cub Scout pack this year. It was an event last month that really got me to thinking about 'appreciation' and how to really show it.

I had planned, pretty much on my own, an event where the boys would invite all the local elementary aged children to a local park. Once there, they would be invited to build anything they liked out of boxes, plastic bottles, foil containers and any other recyclable items we could collect from our homes and from local businesses. Afterwards, we would break everything down & bring it in to be recycled.

In order to raise some funds for the Pack, we also sold raffle tickets to win prizes which we had solicited from businesses near & far and sold cold bottled water to attendees.

This event involved all kinds of pre-planning, running errands, collecting & communicating, along with volunteers on the day of the event.

Of our Pack of 50 boys, I had 6 parents helping. And, even then, their help was half-hearted, cajoled out of them & had to be micro-managed every step of the way. Additionally, of the parents who *were* involved, I knew all of them to be active in other PTO & sports leagues, too. So, I understood the limits on their time & energy.

By the end of the day, despite the fact that the boys all seemed to have a great time (and the fact that we had a few community members join us as well, which is a great accomplishment in our community), I felt like my efforts had been more of an annoyance to the scout families than something that they truly 'appreciated'. The event was something that the 'had to go to' rather than something that they 'wanted to be involved in'. They came late, left early, circumvented the recycling effort (contacting the Park District Supervisor as he passed, without my knowledge, and arranging with him to have the city pick up the 'trash' from the park the next business day)

Shortly thereafter, I resigned (as of the end of the summer) my post as Cubmaster. My son was not moving on to the next level and I felt defeated & used, anyway. My note of resignation did not mention my personal feelings, though - just my feeling that my son was not properly honoring the commitment of time & energy that his Den Leader had put into every den meeting, every achievement he reached. And that, because of that, we did not feel it was respectful to her to continue on taking advantage of what she offered but not putting equal effort and enthusiasm into it on our own. (OK, a bit passive agressive, but actually heartfelt, too)

Then, of course, the 'Thank you' messages started heading my way. But, 'Thank you' felt pretty hollow and rote coming from people who didn't really seem to enjoy what I was doing for them to begin with - from people who seemed more annoyed than excited about the things that I planned for their families.

So, that leaves me contemplating *next year* and how I will choose to be involved -and- how I will choose to show real appreciation for the efforts that others are making for my family and school.

It also leaves me wondering if any kind of End Of Year 'Thank You' gift to my kids teachers, my daughter's Daisy Troop leaders, my kids' soccer coach - will leave them feeling the same kind of 'whatever' that I'm feeling. If, instead, it would have been better to truly show enthusiasm all year long, real gratitude for time & energy spent planning by really letting the volunteer see at the time how much happiness and comfort their efforts brought to the lives of my family.

I know that this year's experience will definitely shape how I decide to spend my time next year. And, how I actually *appreciate* what others are doing for me & my family throughout the year.

I've been trying to think of a way to put into words what I think real 'appreciation' means. I know that it's not just saying 'Thank You'. It's showing enthusiasm and joy in the efforts that others are making for me so that they know their time & energy is being well spent on me.

I hope to do that better next year.