I think I was somewhat miss understood in my first post. I was not refering to anyone on the message boards. I was mearly "asking" parents who attend meetings, to use a small bit of understanding.
By all means, I know there are individuals out there who do not have the right motives. All PTO members should voice concerns when there are clear issues. My point was to those individuals who just seem to enjoy causing problems. In my situation, we have had an amlicable group of parents with a few new parents joining in yearly. This year however, a group of parents have come in and regardless of the topic, they have argued every one!
The tension at our meetings has become unbearable, and the confusion has been daunting. Essentially, our PTO has fallen apart at the seams, the school administration has tried to address these individuals, other parents are afraid to speak, for fear that the venom will be turned onto them.
In my post, I was simply "venting", and in no way was I saying anything about individuals posting, I was refering to the number of "posts" asking how to deal with difficult members. It seems everyone has a difficult person(s) making life miserable for those who are trying so hard to do things for students.

You all have said a lot and ever bit of it is true. The element I grew to understand that we are all guilty of is learning how to "hone" the passion we have for anyhing that has to do with our child(ren). I remember a mom (about 6 years ago) made it her "passion" to improve our school whatever it took. She worked two years to fire 3 people. A year later she left and the school is somewhat better but it was her "passion" that left many of us dazed and confused. On the other hand, a group of us wanted to start a uniform exchange that we are using to this very day.

Our PTO has seen many evenings with parents that just work awesome together and others we wondered where the flaming torches were!

Yes, parents need to play nice and learn how to use their passion in a positve way. Until then, our little Perkins loved us, a piece of pie and craft of coffee later we felt better and could go home to the ones we do all this for...the kids.

I have to agree with PC Nana, while I understand all PTO's are made up of parent volunteers, they represent the school and are also accountable for their behavior, professional conduct and skills. Do not apply if you do not feel you can perform a truly tough job...we know it doesn't pay monetarily, but it does pay off in the long run for the kids. Put on the tough skin, do your homework, represent your school in a positive light, don't gossip, deal with the facts, learn from this board and other sources and it will pay off in the end. Believe me, I know, I have been in the leadership roles a hundred times and am always in the parent role. You must be able to separate the two...just like being in any other job. Keep your head held up high, and enjoy the ride...we know it's not always smooth, but it is worth it in the end!

When we voice our concerns on the message broads we are "playing nice. It is sad but true all Presidents do not work as they should. When we post we are looking for good, honest to goodness Help not because we are trouble makers. It sounds as if your school is very lucky to have you, but please do not criticize the ones who are not so lucky. We all just want what is best for our students, teachers, and communities. I still believe that "respect, kindness and support " is a two way street. Trust me We all need it. May you never have to look any where other than your group in order to get help when its needed.

In reading the posts all over this site, so many of them ask for advice about problem "members". As a President, preparing to step down after many years of being involved, I would just like to encourage anyone interested in becoming involved, to play nice!
Remember, "Everything I need to know I learned in Kinder?" The way some parents behave, it is no wonder our children are having such issues. I don't understand the concept of coming into a group, and treating the board members with hostility, hatred, contempt. As an officer, please understand, we are not paid, we do our "duties" on our own time.
As President, I have spent hours, upon hours, researching, planning, organizing, preparing, for so many events. I do not just walk into a meeting and pull these things out of a hat. Preparing a simple "note" to go home, invovles gathering the information, preparing, copying, and distributing.
If you want to be invovled, believe me, your organization would love your help, and can put you to work! PTO is not a "clique", yet at the same time it is, we don't try to shut anyone out, the clique is open to all parents, who want to be invovled. Get invovled, find ways to help, but please don't belittle the other members, or officers, they have put heart, soul, blood, sweat and tears into the organization. They are not idiots, they welcome ideas, but understand that they cannot use everyones ideas, there is only so much time!
Just try to be kind, don't be hateful, be respectful, your participation will earn you the best of friends, the smiles of the kids, and the pride of being part of a great group.
I hope every upcoming officer is treated with respect, kindness, and support, trust me, they need it.