Well, there are many questions that need to be asked to help us get a better picture, but I am sure we can provide some ideas that will be useful.
First question, is your PTO an independant organization? Do you have 501(C)3 status?
Next, does your group have a set of Bylaws?
These are two of, IMO, the most important things for a PTO. If you are not independant I would recommend becoming so. If you do not have a set of Bylaws you need some, even if you just copy, word for word, the examples prrovided on this site.
The fact that the Principal provided you a small room is great. It shows that he/she thinks that your group is at least somewhat important.
Next, who is it that is telling you that you are not allowed to purchase anything for the school? If it is the Principal you may want to ask him/her where that is indicated. If it is the Superintendant of Schools then you may want to talk with your town's School Committee.
Not being able to purchase anything for the school is totally against the grain of what a PTO does. IMO, here is almost no reason why a Principal and/or town/Superintendant would not want a PTO to be supporting a school in this way.
Now for the ways to make your group better...
First you need to increase active membership. This is, for many groups, the most difficult thing. Kindergarten parents (if you are an elementary) is often the best place to start. But with such a small percentage of participation you need to reach out to the entire parent/staff base and see what you can get.
One of the best ways is to try to hold that one big event between now and the end of the year. It could be anything. For example, between now and the end of the year my group will be having a February party (effectively Valentine's dance), with a DJ, bake sale, free raffle prizes, a picture area, etc.; a free family night for each grade (BINGO for K through 2, and "Are you smarter than a 3rd/4th Grader" for 3rd and 4th). a Golf Tournament fundraiser, a third roller-skating party, two poker torunament fundraisers, two more Book Fairs, a Family BBQ and the end of the year Field Day.
My recommendation would be to pick one, such as Field Day or a Dance type event. Promote the heck out of it. Have handouts promoting getting involved. Maybe even have it where anyone who fills out an involvement form gets twenty free raffle tickets for the free raffle prizes.
When the parents see your group doing great things like this they'll want to get involved as well.
Next is communication. IMO this is one of the most important things that any group can do. I personally take on both the monthly newsletter and the PTO website as I feel it is that important. You can start off small, with maybe a one page newsletter. Your President should have a little paragraph at the beginning explaining what is going on or promoting involvement. Here's a couple of mine from some of the newsletters that I have already had go out this school year...
Welcome to our first issue of the "school name" Herald for the 2007 – 2008 school year. First off, on behalf of the "school name" Elementary PTO I would like to take this opportunity to welcome all parents, guardians, students and staff back for the new school year. For those new to "school name", let me tell you a little bit about us. The Parent–Teacher Organization is a non-profit group consisting of All parents or guardians of children attending "school name", as well as each member of the professional staff.
Our mission is to promote open communication and understanding between parents and staff, and we are dedicated to enhancing and maximizing the educational experience of every child while aiding them in achieving their highest potential.
We hold our meetings on the second Tuesday of every month at 7 PM in the school cafeteria, at which we discuss events, fundraisers and enrichments for the upcoming year. We encourage everyone to become involved in any way that you can. I look forward to seeing you at the next meeting on October 9th.
Well the New Year is here and it’s a time when many make resolutions to start the year off right. Studies show that direct parental involvement at the school itself directly reflects your child’s performance and there is truly no better resolution than that. I invite each of you to become more involved in your child’s education. To find out how, check out the “Join the PTO” section of the PTO website.
Well, that's all I have time for right now.
Hope this helps, and good luck.
PresidentJim