Hi,
Just to add my 2 cents worth. Obviously talking to this person would be fruitless as he doesn't see any problem with the way things are run and doesn't appreciate any new fresh imput. I honestly think I would resign my office and continue to attend meetings and volunteer to help out in events that you want to and continue to offer suggestions and ideas. In my opinion it is not worth crying and stress on yourself. You can only do what you can do and maybe help out in your sons classsroom instead. I have also never heard of anyone keeping their office and then saying that new elections would be held for yours. our elections are held every 2 yrs..Good Luck i hope it all works out for you!

I feel your pain, as for I too have felt this treatment coming my way, but luckily had insight enough to go around it. I would just do my best to keep my mouth shut with EVERYONE, including my spouse because NOT talking about it DIDN'T get me upset. I avoided that 'nasty' person @ all times, wouldn't even look their way, but kept a smile on my face. I would make a point of asking other board members about updates and upcoming meetings. I looked as many people as possible in the eyes and smiled and said hello, or simply would smile and nod. A QUIET SMILE GOES A LONG WAY. And I learned that the hard way and will continue to practice it for the rest of my life!!
I am now the president with a fantastic board and a lot of parental support that I did not have to beg for!
Students respect me because I greet them as human beings and ask them about THEM. I ask for their input with upcoming events I want the students to be happy along with their parents. I have made up my mind to get our PTO into a FAMILY mode and I feel the only way to do that is to involve all involved!! Grandparents as well.
You would be amazed @ how many grandparents love to come to school, children of all ages love grandparents and vice versa. They have the patients that we can lack, so therefore they can listen to kids stories and or problems without 20 other things going through their minds. Grandparents are wise people and many need to be needed, check out your locale Senior Center, they are fantastic volunteers!!
Hang in there, nice goes a lot farther than nasty, unfortunately a negative goes a lot faster.

Well, lets look at this all logically.

First the elections are done and they are what they are. You could try to challenge the vote, as Diff suggested, but it sounds like that wouldn't do anything but cause even more problems, and maybe make you two look bad.

It is also possible that based upon your Bylaws that the position of President is a two year election, and the President keeping the position was him just making it firm. Of course that is based upon the Bylaws, which any member should have access to...

It is also possible that your Bylaws state that a position can only be held for a maximum of two years. If that is the case then come next year the President can not do it again.

Either way it is what it is. Giving up on the PTA isn't the best thing to do. Sure, working with the controlling President may be tough, but there are probably ways that can work. This guy sounds as though he becomes up in arms if comfronted, so maybe try going the other route. If you have a great idea try presenting it to him off line. That way he'll feel like he's part of it and may present it favorably. And if he takes credit, so what, as long as the school and the children are getting the benefit.

What may help is that your wife is now an executive officer, and as such she should never be excluded from any meetings. This may make her feel better about the situation. If the President "forgets" to invite her then I think it's time to have a little heart to heart, but I wouldn't push anything until that time.

Both of your hearts are in the right place, so just stick it out, bite your tongues, and go with the flow.

Good luck,
PresidentJim

concerned dad - if you are a PTO and are a 501c3 school (tax exempt) you will have bylaws. Otherwise, you may belong to a school that is using their school's tax ID to organize. If that is the case, it can exist without bylaws, but that doesn't give anyone the right to make up rules as they go along. Who's to say that others won't also take the liberty to just make decisions that may not be necessarily in the organizations best interest.
I have found that those that treat others how you described or take offense to questions or suggestions to change are usually hiding something. It could be something that was done or it could be along the lines of him being insecure. Either way, his "power trip" is not benefiting the group and could actually keep the progress down to a slower pace than it should be.
How do other parents feel about him and his method of running your organization? Are they intimidated as well? Maybe if more agreed to speak out your principal will start to see the light.

Something is very fishy Concerned Dad. A rock and a hard place is never any fun. Other posters are right ... you most likely have by-laws out there & they are required for tax exemption. It's possible & very likely they are very out dated thus those that have a copy are 'reluctantly' (being nice here) holding out on the sharing process. I encourage you to take action, get a copy of the by-laws, create a group to update them, create a group for the nomination process and continue to attend meetings. I use group/s here so that you have others working with you; its harder to point a finger at one when multiple people are involved. Trust there are others who feel the same as you & your wife but are unwilling to speak up and push for change without backup - most likely these people will join your group/s. In the end if you both decide the PTA is no longer for you know there are many many other areas in the school your ideas are needed and welcomed - you can do so much without the PTA if it comes down to that.

no by-laws? That does not seem right, and your group can not be legally tax free without them.