Your first stop should be your PTO's bylaws. Ideally, the rules would be spelled out there but not all issues are addressed in bylaws, and everyone's bylaws are different. And that assumes you can get a copy, or that they even exist. If your PTO doesn't have bylaws, you're at the mercy of the officers. You might want to offer to chair a committee to write bylaws (lots of help on this site, just search) so you can be sure the points you're frustrated with are addressed.
Our PTO had a VERY LARGE fundraiser this fall that raised way more money than we needed to fund the pTO's usual programs. We went thru an exhausitve, some would say painful, process to survey our parents so the board knew how to spend the money. Some thought it was unnecessary, but others felt that since we'd never had that kind of $ to spend before, the board shouldn't decide on its own. Also, the board officers weren't elected based on a "platform" so they couldn't speak for the members on such an important issue. It was very important to the fundraising committee that we survey. It wasn't easy, but as a member of both the committee and the board, I'm glad we did it.
Where can I find what the proper procedures are for the officers to conduct w/out involving the board or members? If we are having a VERY LARGE fund raiser for the school, shouldn't the whole membership know how to be involved with what decisions are being made on what is going to be purchased? Sorry, but I'm a little frustrated...