People at my son's school probably view our PTO as being a click, but the fact of the matter is that the 3 people who do all the work are the only one's who step up when work needs to be done. This is my second year as PTO president and when something needs to get done, no one ever wants to help. The PTO secretary and the PTO vice president are the only other people I can depend on to help me get things done. We have 481 students in grades K-5 and only 3 parents are there all the time making a difference. It's so sad.

writer mom hits the huge nail smack on the head:

"People who routinely spread malice soon lose all credibility."

Be yourself, people who know or you care to get to know you will konw your true character and reveal the lies floating about for what they are. And make them think that much less of those initiating the rumors.

If everyone minded their own business ..... the world would go round a deal faster than it does. Lewis Carroll, said by the Duchess, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

Nasty rumors reflect back on the person/ people who spread them. These rumors might give some people a little thrill, but I am willing to bet that the majority of people will either dismiss them as ridiculous and/ or look poorly on those who spread them. People who routinely spread malice soon lose all credibility.

Your first instinct might be to fight back. Don't engage in this silliness and drama. You have far more important work to do. Hold your head high, continue being positive and welcoming,and laugh off the silly rumors. People will see who you truly are.

Crazy ... Welcome to PTO World! At one time or another most PTO's deal with the clique rumor/situation. Unfortunately if one person thinks there is a clique problem there is one ... basically because that person will discuss it with other parents thus feeding the rumor. DLF is right ... be the positive light - the professional all are looking for ... you will not be able to change things overnite but you will be able to change perception through communication and time. Expect frustration and meet it with a healthy sense of humor otherwise you will drive yourself 'crazy.'

Man--welcome to one of the biggest preditor of the healthy PTO...the rumor. It is very difficult to stop them once they are started. My thoughts are that you be so visible to folks and talk so openly about things that folks come to understand that what is being said just cannot be true. Let them get to know you as the truth teller. If you have an email system or a newsletter say right up front that your group is not a clique and then don't become one of the rumor mongers...rumors are like cockroaches..when you turn the lights on they disappear.
Above all maintain your sense of humor. As to the mom not called to assist with a volunteer opportunity...tell her how sorry you are that her generous offer was overlooked and that you'll personally make sure that she gets a call next time the opportunity to support something comes up. Then do it!!!!
If folks see you as a point of positive energy and support they will be much more inclinded to DISBELIEVE unhealthy rumors. And as to the affair issue...if the guy is goodlooking tell them you should be so lucky but it just ain't true...or that you already have a child to take care of you don't need a man, or that you should have so much time...or that your midlife crisis is 20 years away and that you have a man thank you...
Don't hide anything cause you have nothing to hide.!!!

Good luck in nipping this stake through the heart in the bud....the whole board should be coming to your defense by the way cause that is what a team does...they watch your back...!
d

I need some help. Our PTO are all new officers. 2 of us are new to the school completely. Well, there have been rumors going around about us. One is that one of the officers is sleeping with the VP. (SO NOT TRUE! I don't even think we have ever spoke to him more than once!) The other is about clicks and clicks in the school. This I can see. I know there is a HUGE click there. I am not apart of it nor are the other PTO officers. I have tried to say hello to them and they walk by. Oh well, I am there to raise money for my childs school... their child's school!! I dont' feel as though I am in a click. Also, we just had our fall festival and one of the parents were overheard saying they volunteered and didn't get a call. We collected all the parent volunteer sheets from the office, we had a total of 6 parent volunteers. Those 6 parents worked at the festival. I really have just HAD IT! What should I do? How should I handle this?? HELP!! I really DO NOT want to let this go! If I could I would stand on a table and let it all out, but I can't do that! LOL