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President Blues

18 years 2 months ago #116583 by GaMom
Replied by GaMom on topic RE: President Blues
everyone here has offered so much, but also make sure that you delegate. if they are there and wanting to be "we" then make it we. Delegate things that don't necessarily have to be done by you. people sometimes have a certain perspective about the president and so sharing responsibilities can help. our group has a "what can i do for you" approach with each other. i am in school, one is a grandma, and one is here there and everywhere, so we make sure we watch each others back and when one is looking stressed or crabby, we pitch in. Any praise we get individually, we make sure to recognize the team. We really took on the "we" menatlity because it has always been so divided and before we even accepted the nominations we agreed to this. So, when you are with the others, push the team thing and the we thing. yes, it can seem childish, but once everyone really feels like it is like that you can lessen it some to a normal level. [img]smile.gif[/img] And keep in mind yall are all new at working together, it is kind of like a marriage, it can take time. maybe even have a nice relaxed talk about how to make it feel more cohesive.
It will get better. you are doing great!
18 years 2 months ago #116582 by CapeDad
Replied by CapeDad on topic RE: President Blues
There may be no 'I' in team, but there is one in leadershIp.

Personally, I get pretty annoyed when people say 'we' when they mean 'I'.

My group's leaders have trouble with this, too, from time to time. We try and realize that 'I' means our personal ideas, research, experience, etc. and 'we' means something that has been discussed or something that has been done for years. (Or decided by someone we have empowered to make a decision).

As president, in meetings, I always follow up "I think we should ..." with "What do you think?"
When noone says anything, I remind them, tongue in cheek, that I was hoping for a discussion.

dlf is right -- when things work well, everyone will share the credit, but if something goes wrong, it is all YOU. It happens here just about weekly. :) Fortunately, I have developed antibodies.

If you don't expect too much from me, you might not be let down. <img src=images/smilies/smile.gif>
18 years 2 months ago #116581 by kelgf
Replied by kelgf on topic RE: President Blues
The 18.04? LOL Thank you both.
18 years 2 months ago #116580 by dlf
Replied by dlf on topic RE: President Blues
Well--Coleen has been there and offered good advice. I would only add that you should broach meetings and agendas as topics for discussion. Especially as you're trying to build confidence within your board. Really if you're going to discuss the movie night...say "okay-let's brainstorm this one and see what we come up with". You're right, no I in TEAM...but frankly the president does do a ton of work that isn't shared. The key to success is making it FEEL shared. Successes are everyones and failures are yours...it's a hard line to walk sometimes but that's why you get all the big money (kidding).
So--this is a bit hard but it's great to always point to someone else's accomplishments and step back a bit from the lime light. Folks will know...
18 years 2 months ago #116579 by colleenalain
Replied by colleenalain on topic RE: President Blues
Sorry you're having a bad day, I know the feeling. Last year I was new to the prez life and it was made difficult by the old prez and her dh. I was fortunate to have a wonderful officer team, primarily the vp. We worked so well together that we are doing it again this year. We even got re-elected!

Our PTO had a terrible reputation and we worked really hard to reverse that after a particularly bad year (in which the vp (me) and treasurer resigned a month into our roles. There was also a lot of parental dissatisfaction at the school.)

Sometimes you do need to say "I" rather than "we" and people have to get over that. If you offer people a chance to provide an opinion and they don't then they don't have an opinion.

As I said I worked closely with our vp, particularly as a sounding board, we encouraged new ideas and even managed a transition with a new principal. Working with one person to solidify ideas and then working together to get consensus really helped. If I was too brash she toned me down, if we had to deal with old prez she did it as they had a better relationship. It didn't fix all the problems but it was a start. N

Having said all that, we're finished next year but expect the hand off to be a lot smother, we actually kept a record of minutes, submitted taxes and paid attention to what teachers, staff, parents and most importantly the children needed!

Best of luck and remember no will thank you but you'll be a better person for it.
18 years 2 months ago #116578 by kelgf
President Blues was created by kelgf
Hey everyone, I've got the blues. My fellow officers asked me to come to a meeting this morning, I thought to discuss our agenda for tomorrow nights "Welcoming Tea". I've never done any of this before, and was told we needed an agenda so I did one up over the weekend, yesterday I had the principal ok it then revised it. Today I was told it had to be redone again, no problem. Here's the catch, I'm brand new!!! Had never even been to a PTO meeting and took on the responsibility of pres. after our pres. quit over the summer. Our PTO has a very negative rep. I have gone to a couple of our officer meetings with some new ideas and asked everyone their opinions. Today it was thrown at me, that I am always saying I, I, I, and it should be we. I really was floored by that comment! I was saying last year as vp this has to be a team effort, then when I took on pres I said only if we all agree to work as a team otherwise I'm done. They want me to make them feel as if we are working more as a team, I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I could probably go on for another 20 minutes or so typing in the details. I always try to include everyone...how can we all call to confirm certain things? I asked the other day at our officers meetings what our goals are and what each person thought their job was and noone took the time to answer. I need more help, please. Sorry to ramble, Had a bad day.
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