This is so true! For once I thank heavens for instant messaging and teenage cell phones with free long distance. My daughter has made a big effort to stay close to her friend (who hasn't been in school since March). But between her hospital visits, her not feeling well, and our own schedule, it's not possible for them to get together that often.
However with technology and computers, they can stay in close touch, and it helps her keep up with her friends and all the day-to-day teen chatter.
The most important thing is, don't forget to visit him! I know that life goes on for everyone else, but... When my son was 11, he broke his femur in three places, and was hospitalized in traction for several months. After awhile, his friends quit coming. It was so hard for him. It took him months of physical therapy to recover and learn to walk again. He is 17 now, and I believe he still has deep-seated feelings of hurt and anger from that time. The support from our family and friends with meals and child care for our other two kids was incredible, I just felt sad that my son's friends' parents didn't bring them by more often.
Aside from the ill child, also be aware of the impact on siblings and that the family resources may be stretched very thin - definitely time and energy and very possibly finances.
While I knew this logically, it really hit home with me on a small thing. Our friend is continuing her schoolwork via tutors. A novel was required for English and I picked up a copy for them when we bought ours. (Keep in mind they were in another town getting medical treatments, pretty much living in the hospital room.)
As minor as it was to us, the mom not having to find a bookstore to buy the book (and frankly not having to spend that extra $10) was very welcome.
I don't know the older sibling well, but they have various other close friends who are helping in that area, making sure he gets attention and help.
How about video taping messages from everyone and the skits, poem readings that way when he is feeling a bit down or when he has to be in a sterile room, he can pop in the tape.Have peolpe make/buy cards. Maybe send him cards once a week. I know kids love getting mail. Ask other churches in your area and family members to put him on a prayer list. I'll pray for him, too.
Just keep cheering him up.
One of my daughter's best friends (14) is going through something similar and spends a lot of time at MD Anderson Hospital about 3 hours away.
We coordinated a surprise visit with her mom during the 12 week initial stretch which meant a lot to her.
The girls also created/sent 'care packages'. Girls that age are really into "silly", so I'm not sure how it would work with boys. Half of what they bought was more like for a 4-6 year old (glittery stickers, kid makeup, color books and crayons), along with age-appropriate stuff like puzzle books, teen magazines, nail polish. Her class sent tons of cards and letters which she seemed to treasure.
Hopefully your friend is being treated locally, so his friends can visit easily. But do prepare your family/friends to be flexible about any visit. As much as my daughter's friend wants to see people, sometimes she just doesn't feel well enough. So a lot of planning might go into a visit that gets cancelled suddenly or only lasts 10 minutes.
Also keep in mind they have very limited space in the hospital room. It's hard to place big, bulky things like large stuffed animals.
Our friend has been out of school since Februrary and won't go back until Spring 2007, at the earliest (due to treatments). So one of her biggest problems was feeling disconnected and losing touch with friends over such a long time.
She's home now, but it takes some coordination for the girls to get together. She can't be around large groups or anyone who might be sick, often she doesn't feel well enough, and she can't handle any strong smells.
Also, maybe the kids can take turns going with him to his appt's. This can give him someone to hang out with and make the appt's a little more interesting if his buddies are there, especially if he is getting chemo. Those can be long sessions. I think the most important thing is to try to keep the kids in contact with him. That is already such a sticky age and being sick on top makes it even worse.
Also, hand held electronic games might be good.
May God bless him and his family through this ordeal.
