Clara, how did you get to be so smart? I enjoy your posts. They are clear, well thought and well said.

Our parents are all embraced, whether they give one hour a week or fifty, $5 or $500, what ever. It isn't for me to judge what is or isn't enough, who could or couldn't afford more.

Any parent who endeavors to be a positive part of the community should be seen as the tremendous asset they are.

This year we have a particular volunteer who just hates me. I know this because she told me so right at the beginning of the school year. Well, I'm in such a position that I could've made it a terrible year for her. And she was in a position to be a constant thorn in my side. But we chose to be better than that. She's a mom, an active PTO member, a tireless volunteer both within the PTO and the greater community and is highly thought of in the school. Guess what? So am I! So we don't get along. Big deal. We could analyze why, we could be miserable, we could behave like adolescent school girls and drag our friends into it, we could push it so embarrasingly far that the administration has to step in. We never did. We maturely agreed to behave professionally, treat each other with dignity and respect and just work around each other.

Fortheschool, I hope you've taken the best of these posts and found a way to positively resolve this issue!

I'm not so sure we are talking about bullies. To me this all sounds more like a volunteer not "feeling" like they belong to the group. Everyone has a different definition for a bully. I think some of the examples on this board are over the top, I don't care if it is in a book or not. Politics are probably messing up the definition.

Common sense should always prevail. I mean to go from a bully to a con artist is just way to extreme and just because you hurt someones feelings by not telling them what they wanted to hear - which probably meant you were standing up for yourself to a bully in the first place - please, I'm not buying it.

We all have the right to pick and choose who we socialize with while we are volunteering. That does not make you a bully. That means you are probably not friends with the other person. And not all volunteers are friends, nor should they be. Some volunteeers should never even consider it, oil and water do not mix.

clara says it oh so well:

"We are there to help the school and the kids, not promote our own personal adgendas.

If all volunteers and parents kept that in
mind we would not have to talk about it so much."

Amen to that, i say. i couldnt agree more.

I just jumped on and saw this discussion and thought I'd add my two cents. If so many other people have been upset by this person then why aren't they all getting together to do something about it?

We have a parent in our school who is not necessarily involved very much and whenever she can she finds something to disrupt or pick apart. I thought if she was involved more and used her time to work on the great things we have going on at our school that she would settle down and see that things are good. Unfortunately that has not been the case. It is awlful when people get it in their mind-set that something is wrong and they don't let up. If there is something then great that they found out about it, but in our school's situation this parent is out of control! I don't know her personally, but I feel really bad for her and wonder what has happened to her in her life to make her so miserable.
So, maybe as PTA/PTO/etc groups we should focus on the good things and be more mindful that some people are dealing with a whole bunch of baggage that we have nothing to do with nor can we help with or fix.

Just a footnote: I have really enjoyed all the helpful info and ideas from other parents that I have found all over these message boards. You guys really have some great ideas! THANKS! - Joanne (DE)

hey now: active volunteers are a good thing. the schools and kids benefit when its all done for the good of both or either. i mentioned that its the DOCUMENTATION (evidence) that makes the case for bullying, not simply the observed frequency with which one volunteers.there is a HUGE difference!!!!
anyway, i had to become a mother before i ever received a taste of receiving end bullying (relational agression)....i guess the world is full of surprises.
maybe our school is ultra-clique-ish and you all dont have the same problems....i have even been told in writing from one PTO leader, that either 'you are in, or you are not'. i think that sums it up very well, the atmosphere. they pick and choose the women they want to help them. and there are many volunteers at our school who feel the same way, i am not a one-off case.

I agree with hey now, we as PTA members must stay positive. We are there to help the school and the kids, not promote our own personal adgendas.

If all volunteers and parents kept that in mins we would not have to talk about it so much.

I am sure many volunteers on these boards are also approachinig burnout status so that may explain a lot of the emotion I have been reading today. What a diverse group.