I remember being SO nervous to go to my first PTO meeting. I felt like such an outsider. It seemed to me that everyone else knew eachother and no one took me by the hand and introduced me around. I kept my mouth shut, not sure if I would ever return.

Well, here I am 7 years later. I've been an officer 4 times, I've chaired major events, I'm on a first name basis with the principal, and I have been instrumental in doing great things for our kids. So, what's the secret? How did I crack through the "click"? I think you said it yourself:
<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> If it weren't for the fact that a friend of mine got involved, I probably never would have. <hr></blockquote>

Once I found another mom I could buddy up with, I felt so much more confident. We would talk about the meetings, and encourage each other to get active. We weren't even good friends at the time, just had kids in the same class.

These days, I try to remember how I felt during that first year and reach out to new faces. I've help improve our Fall Kickoff packet so it stresses PTO benefits (over fundraising). But I also try to remind people that what might be labeled a "clique" is actually just a core group of moms (usually) who get along, have common values, and like to work together. Heck, I don't socialize with any of my fellow officers, but I bet someone would call us a "clique". We just all have the time and inclination to be a little more involved than average.

It's hard to take that first step to start something new, whether it's PTO or an exercise class. As much as the group should do a great job welcoming new members, new members should also hold their breath and jump in. One can only fix the problems from the inside.

The first contact a parent should have with the PTA should not be a member soliciting help, which incidentally, seems to be the only time they approach new parents, but some type of get to know the PTA event, or even a newsletter at the beginning of the school year introducing the members and their children. Maybe some of their accomplishments or what their roles are. Also, a letter listing the types of work parents can volunteer for.

The first contact I had with the PTA this year, was the fall fundraising that came home. There wasn't even any type of introduction to the PTA or it's members. This makes it quite difficult to see how you fit into the PTA.

Speaking of meetings, I went to our first one last night and there was a very low turnout. I came to find out that there are approximately 12 - 15 parents that do all the work, even though there are many more parents that are members. It's mind boggling to me! I work full time and I'm pregnant and do what I can between my 3 daughters to help at their schools. It's a shame more parents cannot invest in their children's futures. When children see their parents involved, it lets them know that education is important and SO ARE THEY!

I am sorry that you feel or rather have felt this way, but I am sure you are not alone. I would love to hear some advice from, shall we say an outsider, on how we can change that image. My Parent Club is a small group that works well together, but we can always use more help. In fact we need it. I would hate to think that there are people out there that want to get involved but think that just because those of us who are involved are a clique. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance for any insight.

Lauri B

I'm sorry to hear your feelings about the PTO Board. I felt like that once, and even todsay some parents may think we're a joke. (so I heard). I'm now co-pres. and love it. i think you may be right that we look like a group of mom on our own clich And that we don't want any one else. But that's not so. A good way to find out is to join and go to their board mtgs. We work very hard behind curtains. As an outsider we may make false judgements. i think you'll be surprised. We are just like anyone else, with our fears, but a willingness to get alone and a passion to help the school. you may find something that you're really good at. talk to your president.

I'm new to the board, but would like to express my reasons for not getting involved in the past. I have 3 daughters, aged 10, 6 & 3 with a fourth on the way. At my children's last school, I did finally make an attempt to get involved, but with some real hesitancy. I would watch these PTO moms going about their daily business at the school, in their very tight little cliches, and it was really hard as an outsider to take that first step to get into the "inner circle". From the outside, I felt that they were not trying very hard to get to know parents on a deeper level. It only seemed they made an effort to reach out to us ONLY when they needed us as workshorses. If it weren't for the fact that a friend of mine got involved, I probably never would have.

Now my children have started at a new school, and the first PTA meeting is tonight. I plan on attending, and I will judge whether to join this group, based on how or even if I feel welcomed.

Don't get me wrong. I do volunteer to help in my children's classrooms, I've just never done any "formal" PTA volunteering, mainly based on my reasoning above. I am a very active part of my children's lives in school and out. I've got some really good ideas if I get involved, but I'd like to feel accepted and welcomed first. [img]smile.gif[/img]