Our teachers have been good about asking us to send extra letters, etc home to these parents. I don't think there has been any problem since I've been in charge. Just tell teachers if they know of this problem that you'll be glad to get that additional information out to them!
The only real headache I see on a regular basis is the one parent coming to pick up a child but he can't because she forgot to tell the school about the court case and din't send in the court papers. The one dad endoured his child throwing up on his shoes for an hour before the school could get ahold of mom ( she was at the gym)ugh!
What's kidda funny, here in the Denver area we see more of Dad with his new boy friend and Mom with her new husband (or vise versa) at ball games. Last year my daughter played basketball and both coaches (one dad the other step-dad) coached their daughter and we had a great time!
I grewup in such a small town that this would have been scadulous! How could they! HA! Now we just hope to get throught the day without incedent!
With my husband in retail mngt, it's amazing how many assume I'm divorced as they never see him or don't know who he is when can come with me!
I got my divorce in Texas and we didn't have to take any classes. My ex and I solve our problems by living 500 miles apart.
My son's soccer team had six kids. Kid #1 was the coach's kid, kid #2 was his step son. Both his ex and his wife's ex attended every game. Kid #3 and #4 were step-brother and step-sister. All four parents attended the games. My son's (#5) dad attended a couple of games. #6's mom said she felt out of place being there with her one and only husband. Luckily, everything was pretty civil but you could cut the air with a knife.
My son's teacher last year had a website for her class. She sent my ex a letter stating he could have a password to see my son's grades and conduct reports. Although we usually get along, I think he felt better about knowing some things without going through me. He could e-mail her directly with any questions or concerns he had.
It's the world we live in now. The ideas we can come up with to help these kids and families benefit everyone.
Thanks for the responses. On signing people up, it's impossible to know who filled out a form when it comes back with dozens of others. (After awhile, patterns emerge and we can ask more questions.)
I guess I'm probably looking more for commiseration than actual solutions, and just wondering if others are experiencing an increase in this area.
Much of what I see involves our children’s sports groups – where we would have even less opportunity to intervene. We see some within PTO, and I know our teachers deal with some very difficult parental situations.
On the flip side, we have one divorced family (one remarried, one dating) that are so harmonious it’s incredible. They spend many holidays together, often take vacations together, and treat each others (unrelated) kids as beloved extended family!
I agree we need to focus on the kids and do what we can.
P.S. I am in Texas, but apparently that class doesn’t have much impact on some.
Maybe if you got a counselor from a local orginzaion to be your guest speaker and make a few points without pointing fingers it would help. The speaker could make high points about this organization: like how, it helps the community, how to get needed services, and what community members could do to help out. This may seem less suspicious and still get the point across.
And you may have to make a rule that no one can sign anyone else up for activities.
I am a divorced Mom. My ex and I agreed from the get go that our children come first- ALWAYS!!
In Texas when you get a divorce and have children you are required to take a putting kids first class. First thing I would do is not let parent A sign up parent B for anything. I'm sure if you call a local domestic violence home in your area they will have brochures on how to be a better parent. I know it is frustrating to deal with especially when the divorce is new. Hot tempers over what went wrong etc.. and the kid always blames themselves. I would focus on making the kids feel better and worry less about the parents.
