Linda,

Coming from two previous schools that were not very welcoming, this was one of my biggest fears when we moved. Fortunately, I found exactly the opposite at our new school, and two years later I found myself in the co-president's seat on the PTO board! Though it's very much like having a president and vice-president, I think the title of co-president is an attempt at equality.

In any event, next year I will essentially be in the "hot seat" as second-year co-president. I'll be the one presiding over all the meetings. My first objective is to type a letter and questionnaire to the teachers introducing myself and the PTO board and asking what we can do for them and their students. I haven't drafted this yet - I first have to finish my school supply kit project!

Sheila
co-pres

I have lived what you have described! Except I volunteerd for the role! However, I did lived to tell about it! We had a meeting and the position of President Elect was open, our VP moves into Presidents' Position automatically so that we are not "starting over" every year, and I volunteerd for it. This was 3 years ago. I took the VP position and I sat back and took notes! I watched who showed up to meetings and how the President conducted the meetings. When I took over as president I was handed a folder with a few notes and a tax exempt letter! I started my first meeting with a speech of how I sat back and watched for a year how things were done and told them PTO needed a face lift! I told them that the success of an organization is only as good as its members (I read that somewhere!) I told them that we needed a plan.

The first year is the toughest! We spent most of it planning for this year. Trust me, you will weed out the talkers if you just stick to your by-laws! I started by letting the teachers know that PTO was there to help them help our children. We provided the meals on Parent Teacher Confernece night, when they are there untill 8:00 at night. We are a rural school and the nearest town with fast food in 20 miles away! You will always have the down-talker, you can't please everyone, but you can do all you can do for the students that attend your school!I came up with a plan. I presented a budget,complete with income and expenses. I contacted a company and had new t-shirts designed and got them for $4 something. We took on a whole new look. (Those T-shirts went like hot cakes!) I can give you the name of the company if you e-mail me and they are wonderfull to work with! It was a lot of work on my and my husbands part. (He swore if I came home president again next year I was on my own!) I got ALL of my ideas from this web site. We had always done a raffle and only brought in $1000.00 dollars so I set up a Cookie Dough sale, our bank balance went from $1500.00 to $12,000.00 in a month! Of course we had to pay for the Dough and it came back down to $7000.00! But we have been able to foot the bill for landscaping around our school, we have 1000.00 set back for a monument type sing to identify our campus, we provided the teachers K-8 with 1500.00 for incentives and field trips, and we brought in an Arts and Enrichment Program (Hands On With Zig, I got information on from PTOTODAY). Send out thank you notes as often as you can, let the teachers know you don't want to take away from class time, and have everything ready so they don't have to do anything but hand out the fundraiser book etc. We did this and we are now getting thank you notes from the teachers! We also purchased a banner that says Parents Teachers and Students, the Key to Successs in our schoool colors and we hang it at every PTO function. This site is the best for information and support! I would die to go to one of their PTO Shows!! It is a long hard road but your school will benefit from it if you are willing to hang in there!

I am from a small town, and I suppose sometimes we do have a hard time accepting new people but it doesn't take us that long to warm up. Maybe that will be your case.

As for the woman that is riding you, tell her your just trying to do whats right for your child's school and your are trying to be a role model for your chrild(ren) and the rest of the students. If the parents act like that it sounds like those kids need some postivity in their lives. Tell her if she has any great ideas you would love to hear them.

The griping really gets to me sometime, the lack of volunteers nearly drive me tears alot of the time, but when I see what a positive impact our PTO activities have on the student, and when they show their appreciation I forget about the grown ups, the kids are what drives us to do this because they are so worth it.

I asks for comments and suggestions on my newsletters and web-page. At meetings I make sure no one has any ideas before they adjourn. The more you do this the more your clannish, uptight community will see that you are not the modern day Hitler trying to take over their school and community.

There will always be nay sayers and critical people, just hang in there, do what you do best and don't loose perspective and you'll make it!

Keep us updated.

O.K. - just thinking "out loud" here on how to possibly mend fences. First of all - you mentioned that one person's feelings are hurt because she was not asked/elected. Do you know this person - would you be able to work with her. Make a phone call, invite her for a cup of coffee and sit down and talk about it. Suggest that perhaps your experience with past parent groups and her experience in the community would work well together, and if the title is her thing - then say how about we be co-presidents, or one of you president and the other vice president? (To me titles don't matter, it's who does the work - does anyone really look at PTOPresident on your resume?)

One tool I have tried to use when working with any school group is to stop and think to myself - if these were our children acting this way, how would we suggest that they act? A bubble bath helps, a long walk helps, yelling (alone) helps, and wine helps (a lot sometimes!) But since this is all about the kids, put yourselves in the shoes of kids and what would their parents tell them to do?

I wish you every success, it sounds as if your heart is in the right place and obviously there is support for you if you were elected not once but twice.

Most of the complaints are coming from the fact that I was elected. Iam very new to this small town our school population k-4 is only 425 students, and the fact that a long standing parent(s) were not elected really hurt some one. Iam the one who attened every meeting to get the PTO off the ground and I didnot volunteer to be president they elected me.

Our first organized PTO meeting consisted of about 30 interested parents and roughly 10 teachers, the principal did all introdusctions and then "passed the torch" to me. I then explained who I was where I came and what I would like to happen with a PTO and my beliefs on what a PTO can do for not only the school but the community alike. Well, that brought on a lot of negativity because Im not from here and how am I suppose to know what the parents and community want from a PTO. There again I emphazied "my opion".

Since thta meeting our attendance has dropped dramatically 8 parents and 2 teachers on a consistent basis. Therefor the 8 parents are criticising me for the drop in attendance(for what ever reason) and the fact that we as a whole are the only ones participating in PTO.

Going to the principal about this she told me flat out this is what the problem was at the last failed atempt at a PTO in the school 5 years ago. She now feels that I am strong enough to pull this off, maybe not this year but next year.

To top this all off I have suggested to them that this time for elections per by-laws. I have announced this to all interested parents in the school. This election was held last night..... whos still president? ME and no VP so how is Im such a horrible president that no one wants yet they as group wont vote me out ?
HELP

Linda,
So what is everyone complaining about? What are you apologizing for? A meeting? I don't get it....they don't want a parents group? and if that's the case, who elected you? Sounds like you've got some support out there. I know we'd all love to offer our two cents but we need more infomation.