Our PTA usually asks for all requests to be made in writing. Then it can be discussed in the "privacy" of a board meeting. Sometimes- the discussion is lively.
In the end we usually ask ourselves "how is this benefitting the school and/the children.?".
Using this question- we said no to funding mini fridges for each teacher's office. We knew they were MOSTLY for the teachers convienience, and there were also other fridges in the building that could be used.
We also knew they were a "luxury" when our computers need replacing.
Bottom line- know what the goals of your group are- then let that be your guide. If the request does not meet your goals- say "No'.
Good Luck.

We operate under a very detailed budget, but usually have a fundraising surplus that we can "play" with. Rather than get into these sorts of debates amongst the parents, we have deferred most unplanned purchase decisions to the principal. We don't have any policy per se for this sort of situation, just our mission statement, tradition, and a great relationship with the principal. It would be very unusual (and I think very uncomfortable) for our PTO to debate the merits of funding something that directly affects teaching. I feel comfortable leaving those decisions to our principal.

Though it doesn't happen often, we recently had an issue raised by a member who wanted the PTO to offset the cost of fieldtrips. In that case, we discussed the issue at a general PTO meeting, tabled it for one month, returned, discussed, made a motion, took a vote, and her idea was defeated. The principal was very clear in his opposition to her idea, but since it didn't directly affect the staff/classrooms, we let it be a PTO vote rather than his call.

When the topic is a large purchase or several items for the whole school, we try to ask the district for help (because sometimes they don't know it's an issue) or seek donations. That's why I always refer back to our Misc. budget because it isn't very large and if what we are being asked for is more than that and is a viable concern, then we should act on helping get it done but not necessarily by paying for it. If you are wanting to not pay for something because of a personal opinion then just line up your arguements and try to find some friends in your group that feel the same way. I hope it works out.

I think you should tell them your funds, since it is public. If you think they may be making a request that will waste their time I don't see why talking to the principal would be a problem.

I know what you mean about having to decide what is important when all issues seem important. A child needs to comfortable and not on the verge of a heat stroke in order to learn well, but that special ed room sure could use some help. I think issues like that are good to be discussed with the group before a decsion can be made. But there are some little things that can be took care of without the PTO. Perhaps your board of ed could purchase the fans or they have a little extra in their sp. ed fund that could help that classroom. Your principal could get in contact with them. He/She would probably know if they could help out or not. Our principal was very valuable to me in deciding what I should do when I was pres.

I am fully aware that I cannot make the decision and we do have a very comprehensive budget in place. Just asking if anyone else has some criteria that must be met. Just because a request is made and we all agree does not mean that it is a good way to spend other people's money. I guess I am asking for a crutch to say no to a request.

We make a budget for each department and program we support. Then we set aside a misc. fund for extra requests. If the money requested for something is not already a budget item, it is taken for a vote by the exec board to decide. Unless someone is wanting to know what is already budgeted for an event they are purchasing for, I tell them to fill out a request for funds for what they "need." We also decide on one (or more) school improvement or purchase for each year or two.