Tim--hate to do this, but I beg to differ! I just posted this under "MichelleB," but I'll repeat it here:
I definitely didn't understand MichelleB as condoning the behavior, nor allowing it to go unheeded. What I saw was someone giving advice on how to handle a VERY delicate situation. Reporting the person once you have all the facts, and have exhausted all other means to get the person to come clean is definitely on one's "to do" list. But to go in with both guns blazing before you know what's there could mean shooting yourself in the foot, to say the least (pun intended by the way). There could be a number of factors that we on the outside are not aware of. Who knows, maybe the "thief" is the victim of an abuser, who takes the money then beats the crap out of the "thief" and threatens worse if they say anything or act as though anything is out of the ordinary. Maybe the "thief", in a VERY misguided move, is protecting an actual thief who took the money for a drug/other problem, and is hoping to fix the problem before they get found out. See what I mean? Mitigating factors are a part of life--they may not be right, but they are understandable. Judge not least ye be judged, and all that.
Sometimes people do stupid things (boy--am I living proof of that! [img]tongue.gif[/img] ). Sometimes the "stupid" thing is malicious and intentionally cruel and deserves a severe punishment. Sometimes "stupid" is just bad judgement, and the wrong-doer needs to see that they'll be forgiven, and the punishment that follows is more sublime.
Whatever the case may be in Bertha's situation, WE don't know all the details, and because of that MichelleB wisely didn't advise to report the situation to the proper authorities, yet. The fallout from a situation like this can be tremendously horrific for EVERYONE involved, and I agree with MichelleB that it's best avoided if at all possible.
Personally I don't think that "sweeping it under the rug" or "keeping it quiet" is why so many groups are being victimized--I think they're being victimized because the people who organize and volunteer for these groups tend to be very generous and kind-hearted people, and as a result, sometimes tend to be more trusting. They assume that others, since they're in the group, think the same way they do. It's an easy mark for the thief. But just because someone is kind and generous DOESN'T mean they are more likely to "keep quiet" when someone is doing them, and worse yet their children, wrong. If anything I feel they are more highly motivated to act.
In the perfect, theoretical world you seem to live in, everything you say IS true, and truth be told, I've lived in that place. But in the real town I live in now, what you're saying is rhetorical at best. This town is known (in these parts) for the political, PUBLIC nastiness that goes on. The police are NOT known for their subtle tactics and professionalism, and in fact, quite the OPPOSITE is true. I would NEVER rely on them for a situation as personal as this unless I HAD to. Situations can get MIGHTY ugly, quickly, and boy, try restoring your good name once all is said and done!! Your innocence doesn't count for much once you've been exonerated.
I DO agree with you, however, that this sort of behavior (stealing from friends and children) is reprehensible, and if proven to be true, should be punished--severely. It's one of the lowest things you can do. Once this type of trust is ruined, gaining it back is next to impossible. Statistically, and sadly so, the person in Bertha's case probably stole from the group, and it's just a matter of time before things are put right. But until you KNOW....
I think it's safe to say that we agree to disagree--and thank goodness--it's what living in America is about!
[ 04-24-2004, 01:46 AM: Message edited by: kmamom ]