Generally the distinction between a for profit and non-profit is what happens to excess funds. In a for-profit, excess funds go back to the owners or shareholders. In a non-profit, excess funds stay in the organization to be used towards its stated non-profit purpose. The leaders/organizers of the entity can NOT benefit personally.
So that's sort of the attitude/business model underwhich you operate.
But then the question is what are you LEGALLY set up as? I would guess that virtually all PTO's operate as non-profits. But not all have gone through the appropriate steps to be officially recognized as such by the IRS.
That may be because:
1) They are too small. (They bring in less than $5000 per year, which is the general rule of thumb for deciding to apply.)
2)They don't know what the rules are and that they SHOULD apply
3)They don't want to hassel with the paperwork or don't feel futurue officers will keep up with the paperwork if finalized. So they just make a decision to ignore it.
It's kind of like filing your federal income taxes. Why is it some people don't when you are "supposed to"? But in that case, there's a lot more tracking by the IRS, audits, and more penalities on individuals.
In the case of PTOs (or other relatively small orgs) not filing for 501(c)(3), they may be operating illegally and there's the possiblity someone/someday might get in trouble, but the IRS does not agressively go after these tiny organizations. (Not that it couldn't happen.)
Some of the larger corporations may want to see your proof of 501(c)(3) or donate directly to the school. But, in our experience, local businesses will support the schools/PTO's without too many questions.
So yes (with the requisite legwork) you can still get donations. But you CANNOT tell people the donations are tax deductable as charitable contributions.
In our events, it's fine line between what is the PTO/what is the school when we are running an event to raise funds for the school. Plus I'd consider us co-sponsors on most things.
I belong to two PTO's - one is 501(c)(3), one is not. For the one that is not, the donation might technically go to the school rather than us when we are talking about things like gift certificates or prizes or items for teacher's appreciation (if it matters to them).
We have started a new playground committee that is being funded by our school's PTO. I am starting to send out donation and contribution letters soon and one of the questions we have is do we use the school's tax id number on our letters or does the pto have to get one or does our new committee need to get their own. Can someone please tell me what we should do?