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Help please! Upset parent

17 years 2 months ago #137230 by trisha
In our school every parent/guardian of a child in the school is considered a member of the PTO. At the beginning of each school year we send home a letter to all of our parents welcoming them to the school, explaining to them who the PTO is and what we do and most importantly letting them know exactly how much money the PTO gives to the school to maintain existing programs and enhance our kid's educational experience. In my experience parents are wholly unaware of how much it costs for all those extras and what those extras are.(ie field trips, soccer programs, library books, etc)

I would tell her that you understand how fustrating fundraising can be and welcome any and all suggestions she has in regards to alternate funding sources. If she is going to complain about the way things are done then she should also be willing to take part in changes.

On personal note, remember that you can not make every single parent happy. Your goal is to provide a positive experience for the student body. Remember the bigger picture. I tried to make every parent happy and took everything personally my first year and then developed a thicker skin.
17 years 2 months ago #137184 by ilene
Replied by ilene on topic RE: Help please! Upset parent
Why does this parent think she is not a memeber of the PTO. Maybe your situation is different, but my philosophy is that every parent who has a child attending your school IS a member of the PTO. And as such her opinion counts, if she disagrees with hwo you fundraise then perhaps she might want to attend a meeting to discuss what the alternatives are. In fact, I would contact her and ask her if she wants to come to a meeting to see what it's all about.
In any case, it's just one parent who likely has never taken the time to learn more about why you fundraise. Perhaps a newsletter or a PTO section of the school newsletter might help.
Sad to say, but sometimes you just have to agree to disagree. Don't let it drag you down. Remmember why you do this, why we all do this and her child is reaping the same benefits as yours. It's not as if because you do more that your child gets more. Hopefully, if she does come to the meeting she will see that. In any case, worry no more about it. You've got more important things to do.
Good luck,
17 years 2 months ago #136753 by Rockne

MELLISSA;136748 wrote:
I would also include an application for a PTO membership letting her know how concerns like this are addressed as a member.


I would decidedly *not* do this last step, as much as I'd want to. Your reaction to this kind of feedback is exactly the kind of thing that will get noticed.

If you need to go kick the dog to vent some frustrations, do that privately. Publicly, you've got to smile, than this person for the feedback, answer as nicely and understandingly as you can, etc. If she persists... stay nice. If she keeps persisting, stay nice.

If you're nice 99 times, and then short or holier-than-thou or "if you join, then you can complain" even once, guess what will be remembered.

It stinks, but that's a key part of the leadership job.

Tim

PTO Today Founder
17 years 2 months ago #136752 by ilene
Replied by ilene on topic RE: Help please! Upset parent
at our school every single paper that gets sent home to parents has to be approved by the principal (the initials are on flyers, and fundraisers and all other non-copied items also go thru prinicipal for OK but obviously cant have an intial) so if a parent has any concern whatsoever about a paper coming home, their point person is the prinicpal, and i think this is a great policy to have.
17 years 2 months ago #136748 by ilene
Replied by ilene on topic RE: Help please! Upset parent
My 2 cents, reply politely, letting her know that you are sorry but all students receive materials and singling out students who get them and who doesn't isn't an option at this time. However she will be notified should the option come available in the future.

Thank her for her concern and let her know that you are available to discuss the matter further if she would like.

I would also include an application for a PTO membership letting her know how concerns like this are addressed as a member.
17 years 2 months ago #136703 by kidcrazy in PA
Tammy,

Try not to let one upset parent discourage you. When you see the final orders rolling in you will be delighted with the support you receive from many, many participants. Volunteerism can be a pretty thankless job sometimes. People probably won't call you and say "Tammy, what a great program!" but their orders will be your proof.

Been there. Best of luck.
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