The faqs under the PTO vs PTA on this website are a bit biased and really sways toward painting PTA in a bad light for the most part. Of course, this is the PTO today website so why wouldn't you expect it to be that way.
If you want to know more about PTA go to
www.pta.org/aboutpta/index.asp
to start.
Then you draw from both positions and see what the differences are. (I am very proud to be a part of the PTA but I don't have a problem with PTOs either.)
Both are parents doing great things for their children and the answer is different depending on who you ask and there are compelling answers on both sides.
I would suggest you read on both and make your own decisions as to how they are different.
VP's job duties can be different and if the answer isn't in your bylaws, then mum is right. Good thing to do. Each school has different responsiblities and activities and I have several units whose VPs have different jobs.
PTA bylaws state that people aren't supposed to get money from their PTA (in lamans terms) but if your business has a fundraising opportunity that is good for your group, there isn't any reason why you couldn't use the fundraiser. However, if your fundraising company gives 25% and another offers 50% and you choose the company that does 25% because it's the PTA members. That would be wrong.