"Staying a part of an organization with spineless weasels like her will only hurt you in the end." How true this statement is and I finally had had enough: parents complaining that they never get to help though when you call they never can, complaints that the By Laws weren't being followed- though anything outside of them was voted on and approved, complaints that they could do so much better if given the chance. I agonized but finally resigned- why should I stand in the way if someone else could do a better job? Well now I regret that: the By Laws are not being followed and they have not asked for changes outside of them- they just do what they want, when they want. Their reason? Because they can and because they said so. They even started using new By Laws before they were voted in! Our By Laws state that to be an Officer you must be a parent or guardian- well our VP transferred her kid out of our school because it wasnt good enough, yet she continues as an Officer. These go-getters decided to shake things up and prove how great they are so they change a profitable fundraiser and ended up way below the proposed profit. The Santa shop was a bunch of irregular junk so it didnt make a profit either. The last 2 dances were a laugh: Halloween had no related music and Christmas didnt have decorations, a Santa, or candy canes and they played Halloween music! We are given the wrong dates and times for meetings, there is hardly any communication and several of these wonderful, go-getting, going-to- make-it-all-better-no-it-alls are already talking about quitting! LOL I say dont back down if its something you believe in. This person sounds like our current Pres and her bunch who are only wanting to stroke their own egos and making it hard for everyone else to be involved. Let it be known what this woman is saying and doing and get her out.

We always do our meeting at night and ask the guidance counselor at the high school to set up some volunteers to do the babysitting. We always call two days before to make sure they send enough kids. We also have each teacher pick out a "student of the month" and hand out these certificates at the meetings. This way we are at least guaranteed those parents coming.

I understand your frustration. Currently going through some similar things with my president. You absolutely need to get things straightened out with the treasurer. Do you require two signatures? (Pres/VP & Treasurer) You definitely should. Before quitting, it wouldn't hurt to give an ultimatum. Let her know your list of demands and give her a deadline (Jan. 1st). If she doesn't follow through, at least you gave her a chance.

writermom,

I am sorry that you are in such a tough situation (and not of your own making!).

I was trying to figure out what I would do in your shoes. On the one hand, resign and watch the group disintegrate (which maybe it should do with so little participation after and embezzelment scandal) which would mean providing no additional benefit to the students. On the other hand, trying to push for change "from the inside" and making sometihng positive happen out of all this. But if making something positive fails, you are perceived as being part of the problem. Talk about a rock and a hard place!

The thing that tipped it for me is the secretary's comment about "going along to get along". Staying a part of an organization with spineless weasels like her will only hurt you in the end. (Forgive my strong reaction, but that attitude really upsets me. A board member at least has the fiduciary responsibility to act in the best interests of the group and probably has the moral responsbility to do what is right. Sitting on the fence is not right.)

Unfortunately, my recommendation is to resign from the board to keep your reputation intact. But just because you are no longer on the board doesn't mean you can't participate. Keep attending meetings and encourage your friends to do the same. Then, you can run for Pres at the next election and hopefully your slate will join you with a clean record. When you do, change the attitude and charge ahead.

I know you have been agonizing over this situation for a long time, writermom. Good luck to you whatever you decide. Please let us know.

We don't usually offer child care, but since our next meeting is at night instead of the day, the hope was that more people would come if we provided child care. I don't mind setting this up, but it would be nice to be asked instead of being told that I need to take care of it.

I know what you're saying, it's what I'm struggling with, and it is so wonderful to be able to talk to people who have gone through the same thing. There will be no one to make changes if I quit, and it seems to me that change is not wanted. I have talked to other parents who don't participate in PTO, and this very thing is the reason. They just don't want to deal with crap like this. It was like this last year too, but I was less involved so I wasn't really affected. The sec is not with me because she is mad at me--I realized at 10 pm the night before our last meeting that no notices had gone out about the meeting so I sent a quick little email out, which is the sec's job. Now maybe I shouldn't have done that, but I did. So now she won't speak to me except once to say I should just go along to get along. The treas. is new this year and she backs me up in stuff I bring up in meetings. The principal is out right now for health reasons, and my feeling is that she wants to stay out of it. She did tells us all once earlier this year when tempers flared that we needed to cut each other some slack and work together. So if I am the only one who has problems here, it seems best if I step out until next year when we have a new pres.

Your letter is very nice but I have one question, if only 3 families (2 are board families) are attending your meetings, why are you providing childcare?
Honestly, you have laid out what is wrong and why you can't be involved and basically why your group isn't productive. The thing is, with a small group, if you leave, who will be there to make any changes? Will your principal step up? If so, why haven't they gotten behind you yet? Trust me, I have dealt with this same type of person but because I refused to step down and worked hard to get people behind me, she isn't there anymore. The only reason I stayed is because I knew no one else would step up. I understand we all have our limits and I don't blame you for leaving, please keep us informed.

I do like your response, looks very thought out and to the point.

It is a shame when you have someone so willing to help everything go smooth get dumped on.

I would love to invite you to be onboard with our PTO! I would do anything to have someone help me not only with ideas, but someone to actually want to follow thru on them!

I think your PTO is going to lose a VERY good member if they don't straighten out their ways.

I hope you all can get this worked out in the best interest of the kids.

Let us know how they handle your letter. Just a quick thought...Maybe somehow word your letter to leave wiggle room to work with you ie, ideas that would better everyone involved and let you feel comfortable staying on with PTO.

Amy