tj--Welcome to the boards!
I hear ya! Though my group isn't technically a PTO (we have a PTA already in place), I put it that we're an "alternative option." Out of some
50 employees at our school--we had
two teachers sign up,
ONE who not only comes to our meetings, but has also helped at almost every fundraiser.The other is a member in listing only. Out of the fifty employees, I think maybe 30 joined the PTA, none actively praticiapte or come to functions except for the book fair so they can put in their wish lists. I brought this up to the principal last week when the issue of lack of support and school spirit came up, and she was genuinely SHOCKED that we would hope the teachers and administration would actively support the things parent groups do at the school. We are, after all, not really a part of the school, but rather an offshoot, and nothing we're doing really benefits the teachers (we're currently fundraising for a handicapped accessible playground). When I brought up that this has been an ongoing issue WAY before my group came onto the scene, she explained to me that every school has a different culture, so it's really not fair to compare one to the other.
So in other words, she's OK with the fact that our "culture" is one of self-serving attitude and non support?. :confused: Oh-but BTW, we shouldn't think the teachers aren't appreciative of all the things the PTA and other parent groups do--they understand that without us they wouldn't have as much as they do.
I really felt uncomfortable approaching her with this, and to be quite honest I was tempted to say nothing. But because I'm so scary smart [img]tongue.gif[/img] and insist on having my voice heard--which really sucks by the way; popularity isn't exactly my strong point--I felt compelled to relieve my burden before I suffered from an stroke from harboring all this resentment. I couched it in terms of the teachers and in my ever-so-diplomatic-way said, "let's be honest--we're all adults here and to not understand why people are resentful that the teachers don't actively support things THAT COST THEM NO MONEY (i.e. working events like Pizza with Santa, that sort of thing) is like sending your kid to a birthday party with no present. They should know better."
As far as addressing it at a meeting--I'd tread carefully here, as it's a public forum, and even if the person sees your point they will be embarrassed (and yes, I feel they should be)and likely to be defensive. Maybe calling a meeting with the teacher rep and principal would be a better way to handle it. As far as a script--I had the benefit of giving a report on a large event we held, and it was noticed by a good many people that no staff/administration was at this event, nor had they donated anything. I put it in terms of having "wanting to let [you] know, that people noticed...." and that while we weren't angry, we thought she'd might like to know that this is the sort of thing that's fodder for the rumour mill, not just in the school, but with other schools in the district, etcetera." Without something like that, I guess the only thing you could do is just be honest--and say that you feel badly, but there's an issue you feel obligated to let them know about, then let them know that there's a growing amount of resentment and disappointment that the teachers don't actively support the group, nor do they show their appreciation openly. Just explain that someting as simple as a thank you note goes a long way in making people feel acknowleged rather than taken for granted. I know there are a lot of people who disagree with my feeling something should be said because it's just as rude to point out someone is being rude, or because it's like demanding to be thanked, but I feel it's necessary if you want to communicate. Though I think it's shameful that an adult can be as thoughtless as a child, sometimes you have to spell it out.
On the point of thank you notes--I'm a firm believer in sending them--even if they're late. I don't agree with being too busy or forgetful as an excuse. If someone was thoughtful enough to remember to do something nice for you it shouldn't kill you to take maybe five minutes to say thank you in a writing. It shows you took the time to bother. Would you not send a thank you letter to a donor for an event? My mother always told me to never do something expecting a thank you, because then what you did really didn't come from the heart. Insincerity is such a bummer. However she also taught me thank yous are important, because not recognizing someone's consideration and thoughtfulness is selfish, and reduces your chance of being appreciated in the future.