Hey, wait a minute - board members get perks? I'm owed some serious back pay!!!
aOK - I'm away from the boards for two days and I still get a shout out from you! Right back atcha!!
I have to weigh in on this subject because we've had an issue or two at my school. There are a few parents who think the time/money they've spent means they don't really have to follow all of the rules. Some people think they've earned their spot on the special list (and a few think they were born there). On the contrary, the more visible you are, the more I think it's important to follow all of the rules all of the time.
PTOs are constantly fighting the clique stigma. It's no wonder if members think they have 'earned' certain perks. And who gets to decide which contributions earn those perks?
For some families a $5 donation is a bigger hit to their budget that for, say, $50 from someone else. For others, it's a bigger struggle to find a saturday off to work the whole day at a carnival than for someone else to work every tuesday and thursday in the library. No one has the right to judge which contribution is greater or more worthy of recognition.
I think any volunteer making any contribution is an asset to the community and should be welcomed and thanked.
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."
"The ultimate aim of karate lies not in victory or defeat but in the true perfection of one's character."
two hats said "If they are demanding perks would they not be obvious, this seems more of a trust issue in general you have with your PTO maybe? "
trust and psychology are different eggs in the same basket, but i recall <playing games> as describing a situation where the pto did not trust the motives of someone who had signed up for committees, and assumed there were ulteriur motives, and they 'would not tolerate it' and that person was taken off the committees based on presumptions.
wow talk about no trust, it does seem to go both ways, and when the leaders of the group mistrust their helpers/volunteers, that sends a strong message to the others in the group. ie if in fact the leaders set the tone of the company,,,,then that is one strong message to assume someone has ulterior motives,,,others may think oh my gosh do they distrust me too??
maybe instances such as that, questioning motive, brings about the flip side of things, ie the helpers distrusting the leaders? i dont know, i have not seen this to be the case at our school, but it does seem to be an issue at many places when i read the different threads.
it boils down to one thing: good communication leads to cohesive groups. one should NEVER assume anything based on hearsay, that is precisely what leads to mistrust and anarchy in any organization.
i agree with two hats, those shcools that have those issues, they should be addressed in meetings so everyones opinion can be heard. but ultimateyl, the board of the pto sets the rules, and the others follow their lead. so as dlf says, the rules should be followed or its downhill from there. at our school, we dont have such issues, fortunately.
'Slippery slopes are called that for a reason and this is a great example of one.'
i think that about sums it up. when one starts to allow small things, then you have set precedent and have opened the gate for potential bigger things.
"where does it stop", is right,,,can your whole family come, your babysitter, to the events for free,,,,etc etc etc. and then others ask the same, and on an on and on.....
these things have nothing to with trust, and all to do with human nature. and psychology as Clara correctly pointed out in aouther thread.
If the PTO has voted on such a thing, there is no harm in it. If this is something like "we will decide on our own" that is wrong. The fact that the PTO voted says to me they are on the up and up. This is a case of you win some, you loose some and you move on. Don't get caught up in being on the loosing side of things, it will happen to us all eventually. Try your best to be a gracious looser, that will do a lot for your repuatation. If you fight, fight, fight the same issue that will not only make you look foolish but cause people to distance themselves from you. Then how effective do you think you will be?
If you think.......everyone follows their own code of ethics and the examples above are pretty petty, but you have to wonder, are there larger perks these same people are demanding that are not so obvious or not broadcast to the pto members? that would be my main concern. ie where does it all stop. what else are they getting free.....
If they are demanding perks would they not be obvious, this seems more of a trust issue in general you have with your PTO maybe? If so, go to meetings and ask questions in a public forum, usually a great way to get answers, or to at least start getting answers.
