I got the news last night that one of the 7th grade teachers wants to hold my daughter back because of the lack of work. Participation alone is not good enough. My heart is breaking, as I'm finding the words to tell my husband, on the ride home from my meeting, my 1st grader is telling me about the A's he has in the class my 13yr old is failing.

She is such a "cat" too. I miss my active little girl. Okay I have a 2 yr old to fill THAT spot but I just miss the kid she was and hoping I can get along with the adult she is becoming....to fast .

[ 03-11-2004, 02:34 PM: Message edited by: mykidsmom ]

Hey Momski, go figure...Communication is the best way to solve a problem (be it with your children or administation/faculty). If you opt to be the person who just gripes to others about the problem and never head to the source, you will never get the problem solved. I'm glad these postings helped. Most often when I try to communicate with my teenage daughter, her eyes also roll and take on a glazed look (please...not the lecture), however, I don't ever back down and in time, my communication tactics persevere!

You guys rock my world! This board is great.

I did talk to her math teacher about a new seat. He moved her to the front. I also switched her homeroom to a smaller class.

There are a couple other "power parents" children who had their child's grade suddenly drop from a B to a D. They're ready to pummel this math teacher. I'm not going to take that path. Her "F" still stands, whether or not you pummel the teacher.

I have also stopped the "in the day" stories... when I was in middle school.. (I actually DID go to her middle school!)

I could tell when I started - her eyes would glaze over and immediately tune out.

Middle school is definitely an adjustment. No more hand-holding check-in notes from the teachers. More responsibility is placed on the students to keep themselves on track.

(thank goodness for teacher e-mails!!)

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Boy are living THIS dream in my home! My 13 yr old was tested for placement and assesment and the SCHOOL told her "WOW, look at this, you are reading at a college freshman level! Congrats!" Now most kids....stop laughing!...would think WOW! Cool! Nope not my daughter, she feels she is too smart for her school and wants to be transfered! TO WERE! The other middle schools in our disrtict have lower, scary test scores and I have friends pulling their kids out and trying to get into our school! (Right now we have a waiting list)
The part that I am freaking out about inside is she is the oldest of five! UUUUUUUGHHHHHH!!!! I really envy some of you with only 2!! lol
I have reminded her a few times that I have been 13 before and while this is 2004 and that was 1982 not a whole lot has changed. Middle school is still middle school.
I am lucky enough to have e-mail with all her teachers also and that has been our best "weapon!" My favorite is her Science teacher works part time at the same store my husband is one of the managers of! OOHHH I tell ya, calling him one night (he told my husband about a huge paper due) at the store to ask him what were some of the topics she could choose since her sheet was "lost" . OOHH Busted!

In a nutshell, I just want to be the mom I didn't have. You know, we are so much more supportive these days and I can't begin to tell you all how lucky I am to have this resorce! I may just come outta this with enough sanity to remember the names of my children's spouses AND children! We can only hope!

My oldest is 14 and in middle school. The post about it getting better when they're 14, OK, could happen, I guess. Hasn't happened yet in my "happy" household, but I thought it might just be our obviously inadequate parenting skills. Just ask him, he can recite a litany of parenting faux pas we commit on a daily basis.

The original post about the "snotty, gossipy, self-centered" pre-teen, I think that's pretty normal for any kid, boy or girl, that age. I see the kids that I think aren't like that and drool, but then I talk to their parents and find out we're all going through the same thing.

The grades would be my greatest concern. The best thing for us was a conversation he had with a high school guidance counselor. He explained the importance of his grades in middle school and how they have a direct influence on opportunities and placement in high school and thereby have impact on college, career, etc. That hit home with him and school work took on new meaning and importance for him immediately.

Don't forget, they're going through tremendous transition and judgment on a daily basis. Even as "mouthy" as he is sometimes, he has yet to reject the never ending supply of hugs and kisses we dole out. Just love them!!!!!

I'm not sure if this will help any just because my oldest is in 2nd grade, but I've come up with something that works awesome for me so I'll share it. My son HATES to clean. So when he brings home bad grades I make him clean. The worst is the toilet, he is going to dieeeeeeee cleaning the toilet he thinks. It works great because he hates to clean he told me he tries really hard so he don't have to clean those nasty toilets. lol