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Finding Motivation

13 years 3 months ago #158049 by Lisa @ PTO Today
Replied by Lisa @ PTO Today on topic Re:Finding Motivation
Wow, I feel for you. It's amazing how much one really negative person can suck the life out of a group. It sounds like you have tried many good approaches. It also sounds like you need to go back to the principal and ask for help. Your group does too much good for your school and the kids to let this negative force derail your efforts. Get a few board members to set a meeting with the principal to discuss your concerns. Based on your message it sounds like you will do a good job not turning this into a he said/she said situation. Stick to the facts -- the school is suffering because of this person's antics.

Here is an older post that about a difficult parent that you may find some nuggets in!

It also sounds like your board is due for a fun social night out to re-group and re-energize.

Please keep us posted!

~Lisa

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13 years 3 months ago #158042 by Tired_already
Finding Motivation was created by Tired_already
I have served on the PTO board, in assorted positions for numerous years. Last year was my first full term as PTO president. The year started off great. A full board (plus sub committees!), a sense of organization, excitement, etc. It really seemed like we were in for a great year....

With the exception of one board member. This board member literally made it a living hell for not just the board but the principal, school staff, other parents, etc. Working behind the board's back, bad mouthing the board and any changes we attempted, bad mouthing the me and anyone who supported me (but never facing me like a person even though I asked for numerous meetings), making it impossible to follow policy and yet circumventing policy as much as she could in the process, the list goes on and on. The board in response basically didn't respond publicly. We tried to manage the mess going on the back side, privately, as best we could but with what felt like very little support from the principal at times. We also made it a silent policy among ourselves and did our best to show only a positive face at all points and times, not respond to the negativity or back biting she was causing, etc. Did we slip up at times, of course, we are human, but we did our best and have had several comment on the integrity we showed during the process.

During the election last year, which was the first time we have EVER had to have an election due to this board members smear campaign, I almost didn't run for the president's position again. My child is older and I wanted a newer parent, with fresh ideas, to have a chance. Problem was, she had so much conflict going on, the only person who was willing to run was one of her "friends" and the motives (based on the slanderous campaign that was ran on that candidates behalf) convinced me it wasn't in the best interest of the PTO to step aside. So, I held firm and was re-elected, by a large margin. At the time I did wonder if there would be ANY PTO left to salvage after the year. And I also wondered if we could come back from such a horrid year when we had just started rebuilding last year from rough prior years.

We are now into the new year.... and honestly, it is the last place I want to be. I can tell the board, especially the ones who lived through last years nonsense, are all exhausted already. We don't know what the school year is going to hold and how this person is going to impact us this year. It seems as though everything is a negative, (even things she hasn't touched), no matter how much planning we do there is always an issue. Our fall fund-raising plan fell through so we are scrambling to overcome that. We had only one open board position - someone recently resigned and now we have two. After last year's issues there is a sense of distrust for the principal at times from some of the board. I feel disorganized. (Which for my personality type is VERY rare!) Basically, at the first board meeting of the year there was no energy or life in the group.... and I feel like I am the worse one, and as president that is NOT a good thing.

I'm honestly wondering if I'm not going to do more damage this year by staying...

We started so many new, exciting programs last year, (many of which were found on here) that were directly undermined and turned negative, that I don't know even what to continue with or start fresh with....

How does a group revive after something like this? How can the energy and excitement be put back into the organization? I am a firm believer it starts with the leadership and I know I'm not even CLOSE to being where I need to be to get this accomplished. I'm out of time, energy, and just about everything else at this point. Would the group be better off with new leadership, EVEN the negative leadership?
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