I am in the same exact situation as you. Last year a new Board came into our PTA and are all have the same type of attitude you've described. I am a "Chair" person, so unworthy of any sort of acknowledgement from them........I've wanted to quit on countless occasions due to their immature, close-minded demeanor.
I continue to tell myself that I'm doing it for the kids and pretend their ignorance doesn't bother me, but of course it does........
It's just nice to know that I'm not as ALONE as I feel, sorry you're in the same boat w/me, just know that you're not alone. I have considered talking w/the principal, but haven't yet.
Our school has the same problem, the only difference is that it is our principal who refuses to let people do anything. Only the few people who have somehow managed to do something in the past will she trust to do the smallest volunteer job. The problem is that there are only a handful of people doing all the work. I am chair this year, and when I try to get someone to do something she denies them the opportunity. Right in front of the whole meeitng. Not that we ever get more than a dozen people attending. Why would they? They aren't allowed to be involved.
I am so sorry this happened to you! This kind of behavior makes me sick, and people like that give other PTO groups a bad name. I am the co-chair of our PTO group at Summit Academy in Michigan, and we are just a group. The chairs don't really like or use our titles unless we need to, and we welcome everyone to comments, suggestions, or help with everything all year long. I suggest you talk to the principal if you want to invest anymore of your time in this, and tell her as a parent, you do not want to give your precious free time away to someone that doesn't appreciate it. Tell the principal exactally what you think, that they are cliquey and rude, and have turned your help down several times. The PTO group at any school should have a set of By-Laws, ask if you can see them. It should state in their By-laws somewhere that the principal, if it is found he or she needs to step in, can take someone's chair positon away from them! If something isn't done about this situation, it will be catastrophic to that school, and ulimately suffer for it. Again, I am so sorry you had this problem with your parent group. Hugs coming from Michigan!
Dont feel bad I am the President of my daughters PTO and the rest of my board act's the same way as your current board does. They even talk about me behind my back to office personnel as well as their click friends. I have never done anything to these people yet they go behind my back and call meetings without notifying me. And these meetings are with the principle and the teachers, and they sit there and slander me. @ of my board members think they are the President and run things they way they want, and is now to the point that the Principle is in their click. And 1 of my board members says we dont have to go by our by-laws. Its so sad because its about the children and these board members dont understand and make it about themselves. Very recently I was told by one of my board members not to hand in the fundraiser paperwork to the company because this person doesnt have my forms, which 2 nights before this person did have them and added them up for me to get my total of what i owed. This person has the money for the fundraiser but tells me i cant hand them in because he needs my forms, which i had but I lost track of time while I was doing my paperwork for the fundraiser to be sent out and did make it up to the school because this person just handed me the order forms 2 hours before school got out and I had a mess of paperwork to do so I can hand them in, now keep in mind I only live 7 doors down from the school and this person knows where I live, this person could have stopped to pick them up but did not call or stop by because this person wants to make it look like my fault, so I had to cancel the pick from UPS and who knows when the orders will be in.
And any new ideas I bring into the PTO gets shot down..This PTO has done the same things for years and wont change and then they wonder why no more than 7 people come to our meetings. They wont come because of the "CLICK" and they dont do anything for the children but 2 parties a year, give them a gift for Christmas and 3 book/food fundraisers.