mum24 makes good points.
also "We always have our luncheons at a nice restaurant, and the school pays for it.'
are you at a public school? i have never heard of a school paying for a luncheon for its volunteers.
whom do they invite, how do they choose, are they able to invite all who helped? how many were invited , who did the inviting, the principal or the PTO? we have about 100 active volunteers, that would be one big restaurant bill at our school!
Without knowing all the details, it would seem lots of money (ie a 'nice' restaurant) went to something that maybe could have been used for the kids...i dont know maybe your school has lots of extra cash, ours sure doesnt!! seems most public schools have PTOs get monies to fill in the gaps or shortcuts from their own underfunded budgets.
the thank you we get from the principal or super has always been great mention in the school paper/newsletter and at meetings or a personal thank you card.
at our school, it has ALWAYS been the pto that hosts and pays for , the volunteer end of year coffee/brkfst or pot luck luncheon at an officers house.
but in any event, IF the principal or vice arranged for the luncheon, and agreed to pay for it, why didnt the restaurant just send her the bill? she didnt have to be present in order to pay, if in fact that was the arrangement.
it does sound like there was a bit of confusion or miscommunication going on, i mean, why did you have to hear it from a volunteer and not first hand, that the principal wouldnt attend but the vice would? seems like, going forward, you need to have direct and clear communications with your principal, from what little has been posted.