Wow! It is odd that they chose this route when you had such a good relationship with them. I agree that their position should have been a last a resort and not a first step without ever having a conversation with you.

I think you are wise to not want to make a decision in anger, but you certainly have been put in a bad position. I think I would take your stand and do nothing. Your group should not be extorted into taking sides.

Hang in there and keep us posted!

We know it is common knowledge for the teachers to not do anything extra when they are in this position. However, never before when in this situation have they taken it out on the PTO.

We understand their position and know it is not personal against us as individuals. We are just deeply hurt because all they needed to do was ask us for assistance. They have never had a problem before asking us for anything and we have always given whatever they asked for. Had they come to us for assistance we absolutely would have done whatever we could to help them. But instead we feel slapped in the face and we are being extorted into a position that we could have taken if simply asked. We feel they had very little regard for us and what we do that they did not think twice about what the implications of their actions would be.

We also feel that if we are strong armed into taking a position that it sets a bad precendent and that in the future we will be fair game to anyone who can impact us and use us as a pawn to get what they want.

The principal backs us 100%. He told them they are wrong and that they are biting the hand that feeds them. He will support whatever decision we make as they drew first blood. He as well has no idea why they decided to just do this without having a conversation with us. Shouldn't this have been a last resort and not a first step? Especially in a school where the relationship was excellent and there were no hard feelings or animosity from previous issues between the staff & PTO.

We are all angry and certainly do not want to act out of anger as that serves no one. Right now though I am of the mind set that we will not allow ourselves to be extorted into a position and we will wish them well in their quest to get their contracts, but that we will not help them.
The bottom line now is that after this is all said and done and they have their contracts our organization will never feel the same about them again for a long time to come.

I totally agree with and understand this. However, I would not see it as 'being the bigger person' by continuing to support them when they withdrew support of us. To me, assisting with a few PTO fliers or attending a meeting has nothing to do with taking on 'extra work' at school. We have a relationship with all staff. We ask for very little, but we need their help sometimes to thrive. If they maintain our relationship, they will continue to benefit from our programs. It would not be personal for me, just sound business.

Originally posted by writermom:
I know this will probably not make you feel any better, but it is common practice in this kind of situation for the union to tell the teachers not to do any extra work. Don't take it personally--the teachers have to band together to do what is best for them and the union. I imagine I would feel the same as you if this happened to me, but if you can be the bigger person in this situation and do what you can to keep relations good with the teachers, they will remember it when all is said and done.

If your group is anything like ours, over 65% of our funds directly affect the teachers, staff and help support the additional activities the district doesn't have money for them to do. If our teachers didn't support us I would see it as personal. They can not hand out things for the school, principal or district and still hand them out for a group that they are members of. Isn't having you come in to the class to interupt their instruction time worse than them participating in PTO activities. Are they saying that since they don't have a contract, they don't care if they are good teachers? I understand the tactics but the parents are not directly involved in contract negotiations and this scheme will only hurt all involved. I think you need to have a talk with your teachers about whose side you are on and if they want to continue to recieve your support, then they will need to hold up their end of the Parent-Teacher relationship or it will be very hard to rebuild once they get their contract finalized.

I know this will probably not make you feel any better, but it is common practice in this kind of situation for the union to tell the teachers not to do any extra work. Don't take it personally--the teachers have to band together to do what is best for them and the union. I imagine I would feel the same as you if this happened to me, but if you can be the bigger person in this situation and do what you can to keep relations good with the teachers, they will remember it when all is said and done.

Personally, I would not be bending over backward to give anyone anything.

My position would be that if they don't support our efforts, at least minimally, then we would not disburse funds to individual teachers. Our funds would only go toeard events and larger school projects. I would send a letter to each teacher telling them this, mentioning that they never had a contract with our PTO, so the contract issue is irrelevant to us. (If you are not separate, maybe they have a stronger position.) Then, I would notify them of what I said above. And either they all support or no teacher disbursements will be made.

It is not you putting them in a tough position. It is the other way around.