Hi! First off you should try to get more board members then just a president. You should at least also try to have a vp, treasurer, & secretary. Bylaws are important and your group should also establish them as soon as they can.
The principal should be advised of everything. The bottom line is that she is responsible for everything that goes on in that school. You have to look at it this way...if something goes awry she is the one who will be held accountable. She is also the head honcho in the building and does not want to look like she has no idea what someone is talking about if she is asked a question about something that is going on in the school.
As for the D.A.R.E program...our police in town run the program. They come to the school and do an assembly and hand out information. So I really can't help you on that one. As for funding the science lab...I think she is putting the horse before the cart. Your group needs to establish itself first in order to raise money to fund anything. One woman (the president) cannot single handedly run the show.
I have no idea what ideas were proposed that she said no to, but you have to find some common ground with this woman. Fighting with her will benefit no one and will only hinder your group.
Why not ask her what things she would support you doing and take it from there.
I am new to the whole PTO thing and I am now wondering if I even want to be involved. Can you pleasa help in letting me know if this is what is expected from a PTO and if not, some suggestions on how to handle it. We do not have a very well established PTO. We have a president, no other members and no bylaws. We got a new principle this year. She knows we have no bylaws and is pretty dictating about what the PTO is going to do. Our president has to have everything we do approved by the principle right down to flyers she's sending out and days and times of meetings. She has told our president that she wants the PTO to start a D.A.R.E. drug program and fund the science lab this year, and has said no to any idea passed her way thus far. This just doesn't seem right, but I could be wrong. Help!!! Jennifer