I completely agree with Lisa. In my school so many decisions that are done outside during mom club / ladies night out and if you ask questions about why they are not following by-law you are treated as bad apple.

state PTA need to review the resignations and reasons. These letters will speak out loud.

It is sad to see PTA's at schools are no longer care about the objective, it has become status symbol.

I'm just wondering how this could happen. Where were you and your wife all this time? In no way am I blaming you. I just wonder how a PTO could get away with this. O

Our principal okays everything. He chooses the assemblies, programs, and has imput on just about everything.

With being the PTO President I do feel my children know more teachers. Which in return has drawn attention to my children. Just for the fact that my family is at our school all of the time. As for winning awards, that would fall under the classroom or school. The only awards we give out would be for raffles. I don't know how I would feel if the PTO had the power to address individual children.

Everything we do we try to be even. What we do for one class we do for the other. Same for all grades.

As I read all of the discussions I've found that people are doing all sorts of things. We have a small population of Spanish speaking families and try to incourage thier attendance at PTO meetings. We have newsletters translated into Spanish just so they know what is going on.

I think you should address the problems. Speak to other families in your school. Ask your principal to attend your meetings. Let your principal and PTO president know that you want to be on the agenda. And deal with everything upfront. No more behind closed doors. I think you need to have other families that feel the same as you in attendance. Just so you don't come across as wanting special treatment for your daughter. I kinda got that impressions reading your first topic but after your response I have a diiferent opinion. I truly feel, with what you have written, that something is wrong with you PTO.

It is nice to see a Dad care so much.
LisaH

Dad, there does seem to be something wrong here. I am the PTO pres for 3 years at our school and A) I would not want or need an office in the school, it was hard enough getting a PTO closet in the school anyway. It is know that although the PTO sponcers events and brings things into the school, the Principal has final say in all that goes on. It does not seem that way in your school. I always tell parents that come to me that I am involved to bring the fun things to the school and to fund raise for those things and the Principal and teachers are there for everything else.

I will say that my youngest child was selected for a spec ed class that he needed, the teacher came to us thinking we would be mad for the suggestion, but he is know in the class, nothing to do with our involment in the school but a parent did go to the superintendent saying we were getting special treatment, go figure.

Anyway, good luck, check the by-laws and check with the business office to see if the office and power are proper and available across the system.

Sure, everyone is invited to come to the meetings. But the real work is done outside the meetings, in private meetings and phone conversations -- and only the inner clique is privy to those.

As far as whose fault it is that the PTO is "whites-only", the fact is that the non-white parents who do come to the first few meetings when their children are in kindergarten are soon let to know, through ways subtle and not-so-subtle, that they're in the wrong place. A 90 percent majority can pretty easily make the other 10 percent feel unwelcome. Think back to 8th grade; it's not much different.

Our PTO president has an office in the school, right next to the principal's office. She's there during the day. Is it pure coincidence that her daughter gets so many awards and honors? Maybe, but can you really blame the parents who are outside the inner clique for being suspicious? And could you really stand there and tell them with a straight face that they're wrong?

And yes, there is one particular award that my daughter absolutely deserved, and it went instead to the daughter of the president of the PTO. Can I really face my wife and tell her, "No, no, I'm really sure it was pure coincidence. There's no such thing as PTO politics."

We're going to have an Irish music group do an assembly around St. Patrick's Day. My daughter is an Irish dancer, a prize-winner in the New England Regional Oireachtas (i.e. invitational competition); we thought it would be nice to incorporate her dancing into the St. Patrick's Day assembly. The principal thought it was a great idea, but said we would have to clear it through the PTO. The PTO said no way.

Since when does the PTO override the principal with regard to what goes on in the school during the school day?

I have no doubt that your PTOs work very differently than ours. But something has gone very, very wrong with ours.

Disillusioned Dad

I would have to agree with the previous poster. Our PTO is open to everyone (we do not even have dues). We inform everyone of the meetings and everything is out in the open on the table. As far as singling any one child out, we can not. We pay for field trip for the entire class not just a few. We pay to have speakers come into the school for the entire school to enjoy, not just a few. I will admit that I get a little upset when the people who never participate in any fund raiser is the first one in line for the free ice cream or free watere bottle etc but I get over it quickly remembering everyone is different and does their own thing and as a group we move forward and do what is best of all the children of our school.

When I first read your post I did not want to respond....but had to come back and do it anyway. "Discrimination" and "Racism" are to me the ugliest words that we have. To use these words directed at a PTO should be done only if you are 100% sure that is what is going on...not by heresay. How a PTO can be secretive is beyond me...funds have to be voted on, officers are elected, treasurer reports have to be approved and so on. As far as the make up of people at your membership meetings isn't everyone invited to attend?? If it is the "whites" only that come who's fault is that?? I truly don't think this is a race issue and should not be labeled as such...if you read other posts on this board you'll see that most pto's have a heck of a time getting new faces because people are not interested for what ever reason in attending...not because of the color of their skin. In our school we have whites, blacks, hispanic, and arabic people, I have went out of my way to invite any new person to be a part of our pto...even calling them and personally inviting them to a meeting or family night a few have come but most have not. Have you considered that their could be a language barrier here?? If everyone at the meeting speaks English and a few members only speak Chinese how would you suggest they handle this?? As far as your daughter I'm sure she is a wonderful child...especially because she has such a caring dad. What you don't make clear in your post is specifically how is the pto slighting her? If it is something intentional then speak to the board of officers. Our pto does not treat any one child special or not...not even my own and I am the President. The pto is not in the position to treat select children differently because we do things for the school as a whole. I really hope that you will post again and be more specific as to what is going on in your school and be a bit more cautious before you charge discrimination and racism in the future.